I nodded, even though my throat burned. “Okay.”
Jay gave me a small, restrained smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Okay.”
He moved toward his side of the house, but slowed just before reaching the hallway.
“For what it’s worth,” he said without turning around, “I’m glad you’re not afraid of me anymore, Hope.”
My breath caught.
Then I forced myself to inhale.
Exhale.
I was breathing again.
But why did it have to hurt so bad?
CHAPTER 34
Ismoothed out my navy-blue scrub top and checked one last time for lipstick on my teeth. It was a workday again.
It had been a few days since my date with Tyler and the subsequent moment with Jay. I’d admitted to having feelings for him, but told him I couldn’t pursue them.
Self-preservation, I’d told him.
And that had been the truth.
But despite putting a major damper on the possibility of us ever being together, I’d sort of laid myself bare to him. I worried about how work might be today. Would he treat me differently now? Some men didn’t take rejection well. Would the dentist’s ego start to show?
A little numbness settled on my tongue, and I told myself to snap out of it. Jay wouldn’t treat me differently. And if he did, I could leave. I didn’t have to put up with any sort of behavior that wasn’t good for me. I had to remember that I was in control here.
I parked in my usual space exactly fifteen minutesbefore the office would open. I put my car into park and let out a heavy sigh.
I really needed to get this over with. I’d hidden away in my apartment all weekend, afraid to run into him. The isolation had forced me to write, and I’d actually been pretty productive, but it had all been avoidance. I hated facing the music. It brought on so many anxious feelings. I was the type to make up scenarios in my head until my brain didn’t know the difference between reality and imagination.
Gathering my courage, I opened my door and walked into the office.
“Hey, Devin. Hey, Shelby.”
I said hello to the front desk staff, and they kindly returned my greeting, oblivious to my anxious thoughts. I tentatively stepped into the back and decided I’d start with what felt like the easier of the two conversations, searching for Tyler. I really needed to talk to him about how I wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t want to lead him on, and honestly, if I was serious about keeping things good in Big Bear, it was probably best if I didn’t date anyone at the office. It would be cleaner just to stay friends with Tyler, and hopefully, he wouldn’t take it too hard.
But when I walked into the break room, Tyler wasn’t there. Macey was talking with Erica and Jen, but Tyler was nowhere to be found. He was usually pretty early, too. I put my things in my locker, taking my time, waiting to see if Tyler would walk in so I could maybe ask if we could talk for a sec.
Another person stepped into the break room, and I looked up, anticipating Tyler—only to see Jay instead.
My heart skipped a beat. Oh gosh. He didn’t usually come into the break room. It felt like an ambush. Butthankfully, he walked right past me, set some papers down on the table, and didn’t even glance at me.
“Is Ty here?” Jay asked the room in general.
“I think he woke up late,” Macey said, leaving her conversation with Jen and Erica. They all gathered around the table. “He should be here in a sec.”
“I need to have a quick meeting,” Jay explained.
Just as he said that, Tyler finally walked in.
“Well, look who’s right on time. We’re having a meeting,” Macey teased Tyler, and he gave a sheepish smile.
“Sorry, I was running late.” Tyler spotted me by my locker and gave me a big smile. “Hey, Hope.”
