“Um, it was actually okay,” I said, looking down at my hands, fiddling with the corner of one of the blankets. “She admitted she was in the wrong, and she feels horrible for not standing up to my father all this time. I don’t know exactly how I feel about the whole apology yet, but maybe this will be the first step toward something in the future.”
“That’s good,” Jay said. “I’m glad you got some validation today.”
“Me too.”
He looked down and pursed his lips. “I, um… reached out to my dad while you were away.”
“You what?” My eyes widened. “Did you really?”
“Yeah, I, um…” He reached up to scratch his neck. “I’ve been talking more to my therapist. Especially while you’ve been gone. He urged me to tie up the loose end with my dad. He said it might help me heal. Not to excuse my behavior, but I do think my past hurt from my dad leaving—and what happened with my mom—has led me to make poor decisions. I’m going to be flying to Spain to see him and my grandmother in the spring.”
“Jay, that’s a huge step,” I said, honestly shocked by his openness.
“Maybe we can both start rekindling family relationships together,” he said, giving a small smile.
It made my heart ache.
“Jay,” I finally said, breaking the quiet. “I need to tell you something.”
He turned toward me expectantly. “What is it,Amor?”
There was a pause, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
“I love you.”
I didn’t test the water. I didn’t ease into it. After everything that had happened today, after being reminded how fragile life is, I couldn’t justify holding it back any longer.
He stilled, like he hadn’t been expecting that.
“I was going to tell you last night. After I got home…”
He was still frozen, staring at me like he was afraid to move—like if he did, I might take it back.
“I realized it was cruel of me not to consider what you’ve already been through. Losing someone else—how much that would hurt you.” My voice wavered as nerves tangled up my explanation. “I can see now that you kept things from me because you were scared.”
I swallowed and forced myself to keep going.
“And I can’t be angry at you for that, because I know that feeling. Being afraid. Being anxious. It can becompletely paralyzing.” I drew in a shaky breath. “It wasn’t fair of me to expect you to handle those emotions perfectly when I can’t even control them myself.”
My hands trembled in my lap, but I didn’t look away.
“So, I guess what I’m saying is I forgive you for everything. And I hope you can forgive me, too. Because I did fall for you, despite all my attempts not to. I can’t imagine loving anyone else?—”
He closed the space between us before I could finish. His hand slid into the hair at the back of my neck, and he pulled me toward him, pressing his lips to mine.
I was grateful not to have to continue my speech; it was getting rather lengthy.
A soft, pleased sound escaped me and I lifted my arms to wrap them around his neck, welcoming the kiss.
He didn’t hold back. He held me fiercely to him, his mouth moving on mine like he’d been starved for these last few months. He tilted my head with a gentle press of his thumb beneath my chin, deepening the kiss. His tongue explored across mine, and he grasped at my bottom lip until I was flushed and positively humming.
Then he moved. Abandoning my mouth, he started to pepper soft kisses on my neck, and then across my shoulder.
I reached for his shirt, my fingers fumbling with the hem, and he didn’t hesitate. He reached behind him with one hand and pulled it over his head.
He pressed me into the plush rug, caging me in. The fireplace was right beside us, and behind my closed eyelids, I could still see the flicker of the flames.
His hand fell to the curve of my waist, and he gripped my hip bone as his mouth returned to mine, sending an electric shock through my body. I let out abreathy sound, a whole new round of butterflies entering my stomach.
