I felt ridiculous asking him to stay in the doorway with his back turned, but I didn’t want to be alone for some reason. And I’d missed him in a way that felt impossible to explain.
“What do you want to talk about?” he asked, moving to sit down on the floor.
“Well, for starters, you haven’t relaxed at all since you found me.”
He tensed up again, and I heard him exhale sharply.
“Hope…” He said roughly. “I don’t think you understand how angry I am. That he hurt you. And if I’d just searched harder, maybe I could’ve found you sooner?—”
“Jay. Stop.” I shook my head. “You couldn’t have stopped this.”
“I know,” he said. “I just can’t help but think aboutwhat would’ve happened had I not found you.” He muttered something in Spanish under his breath.
“You came looking for me,” I said firmly. “You found me. You saved me. It’s all okay now.” I leaned my chin on the edge of the tub. “Thank you for coming to find me.”
“Always,” he said, his voice low and rough. Then he sighed.
“I’ve never felt so violent in my life. I want to find him and hurt him for hurting you?—”
“Stop,” I said softly, wishing I could reach out and touch him. “That won’t do anything.”
“I know,” he said, exhaling heavily.
“He’ll get what he deserves. He’s in custody now. It’s out of our hands.”
He nodded, but his shoulders were still tense. “I wish I could protect you from everything.”
“That’s impossible,” I whispered.
“I know,” he said softening a little. “Doesn’t stop me from wishing I could.”
There were so many things building inside me, so much I wanted to say, but I didn’t want to confess everything while I was still sitting in a mountain of bubbles.
“I’m going to wash my hair now,” I said. “But can we talk when I’m done?”
“Of course.”
He stood and closed the door behind him.
I washed the dried blood from my hair with the soap he’d left out. It smelled incredible, and I scrubbed carefully until every trace of dirt, grime, and blood was gone. Once I felt human again, I stepped out and wrapped the towel tightly around myself.
I changed into the oversized sweats he’d set out and padded back into his room.
Jay was sitting on a pile of oversized floor pillows in front of the fireplace. Orange flames flickered in the hearth, casting shifting shadows along the walls and making everything feel warm and cozy.
“Feeling better?” he asked, looking up as I approached.
“Much better,” I said, lowering myself onto a cushion beside him.
I pulled a blanket from the pile next to the pillows and wrapped it around my shoulders.
“I can help you get your car back tomorrow if you want,” Jay said.
“That would be great, thank you.” I hadn’t even thought about Mason’s car still sitting on Main Street in Big Bear. I didn’t know what it would be like going back there, but I didn’t think I’d have much of a choice. I would have to face it eventually.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the fire crackle. I tried to steady my breathing and gather the courage to tell him what was on my mind. But then he spoke again, and I bit my tongue.
“How was the conversation with your mom?”
