I sort of wish she looked worse, like she wasn’t as beautiful or maybe upset about something, but she looks just the same as the day she left me.
I brace myself and walk over to her table, watching her blue eyes light up when she sees me.
“Max,” she smiles familiarly, like we’re old friends.
“Chelsea,” I say sternly.
“Do you want to grab a coffee first? I’m sure you haven’t had your allotted ten cups.” She tries joking, but I keep my face neutral. I don’t know what she is doing here, and I sure as hell am not here to go down memory lane with her.
“Sure.” I nod and drop my things on the empty chair across from her before ordering an iced-caramel, cold brew. The rush of caffeine does nothing to calm my nerves, but at least it is something familiar.
I sit down across from Chelsea and she pulls back her hands, and I catch the way her engagement ring catches the light. It’s three times the size of the ring I had bought her, which unfortunately doesn’t surprise me.
She catches me staring and hides her hands under the table.
“I brought this back,” Chelsea says quietly, pushing the engagement ring box across the table. The small black box reminds me of how many months I held onto it, waiting for the perfect moment to ask her.
“Thanks,” I say sharply. I take the box and slide it into my jacket pocket without looking inside.
“You’re not going to check if it’s inside?” she jokes.
“You’d come all this way and give me an empty box?” I scoff.
“Well…no.” She frowns. Clearly, this was not how she anticipated this going. Of course, she had expectations for this.
“So, are you going to tell me what we’re doing here?” I ask, hoping to speed things along.
“I was hoping to apologize for everything. I know it’s a few years too late, but it’s been weighing on my mind for some time. And I was in town anyway.” Chelsea sighs.
“Go ahead.” I shrug. I doubt there is anything she can really say that will surprise me, but I am willing to listen.
“I’m sorry for not telling you when I knew I didn’t want to marry you. It wasn’t fair for me to let us go through the motions when I knew I wasn’t fully into it. I just saw our life, and I was worried we were getting married for the wrong reasons. I loved you, but I don’t think I loved you as much as you loved me,” she starts, and it feels like knives cutting open old wounds. “I wish we could’ve at least stayed friends, I miss having you in my life. But I know it’s for the best, I’m happy now.”
I don’t think before I speak, spending too much time holding back and not saying what I truly feel. I might not get another chance like this.
“I’m so glad you’re happy now,” I say sarcastically, “But I deserved a hell of a lot better than what you did. I did love you and you sent your best friend to tell me we weren’t getting married? As I was standing in front of everyone we loved, and I couldn’t even talk to you about it? You ditched me on the day of our wedding and then acted like it was no big deal. And then to marry someone else less than a year later?! You didn’t think to reach out then? To see how that might affect me, or how I might be hurt by that?” I scoff.
“I—” she starts but I keep going.
“You didn’t love me and that sucks, but you could’ve at least told me to my face instead of being a coward. That wasn’t something to just get over; it’s something I’m still dealing with because of how bad it fucked me up,” I say angrily.
“I really thought it was all for the best,” she says quietly.
“You thought instead of privately telling the woman you were supposed to marry that you were no longer interested, it was a good idea to wait until our fucking wedding day? I don’t care that you got married again or that you’re happy. What you did still affects me daily. It’s not an easy thing to come back from,” I admit.
“I’m sorry. I really never meant to hurt you, but I know that I did,” Chelsea says.
“You did. And no shitty apology years later is going to change that. So do us both a favor and lose my phone number because next time you’re in town, I’m not interested in seeing you.” I grab my coffee and storm out.
My face hits the cold and I realize I didn’t put on any of my things, but it doesn’t matter. I am too upset to stop, so I am struggling to put on my gloves, hat, and scarf while walking.
I can hear Chelsea calling out behind me, but I’m not interested. It pisses me off how good a mood she was in. She thought I was going to forgive her for the way she treated me,and I wanted nothing to do with that. She was only there to make herself feel better, and I wasn’t interested in how that was going.
I am glad I got the ring back, I could at least sell it for cash. Better me than her. I feel a little freer knowing she is now someone from my past. There isn’t a chance for her to creep back in. Even if she asked to see me, there is nothing left for me to say to her.
I take out my phone, fumbling with the touch screen through my gloves until I manage it and pull up her number. I hadn’t bothered to save her contact, so I report the number as spam before blocking it completely. I don’t want Chelsea to be able to come in and disrupt my peace again. Not that I am necessarily peaceful, but I’m not a mess she needs to clean up either.
I don’t feel like going home yet. I have too much anger pent up in me, so I decide to walk it out. I’m bundled enough, but the iced coffee isn’t helping. Not that I am going to part with it, I’d drink iced coffee in any weather. It just tastes better. It’s not like I can walk all the way to Brooklyn, not where I live anyway. But I want to get as close to it as I can without getting on the train.
