“Yeah, I posted something and got removed. My account was deleted and I guess I took it sort of hard. I don’t think it’s worth an emergency call, but my friends are worried.” I shrug.
“Well, it sounds like you have some pretty good friends. You say you didn’t leave your bed for over a week? Were you eating? Showering? I know you weren’t keeping up with our sessions,” Shirley says.
“Uh.” I look over at River and Aspen. I don’t know why I asked them to stay; now I can’t lie to Shirley about anything. “Not really. Just a lot of sleeping,” I admit.
“Okay, so it sounds like you might be depressed. I think it would be best to match you with one of our in-house psychiatrists and see what kind of medication would be best for you.” Shirley starts scribbling notes in the book on her lap.
“Meds? I don’t need meds. I got a little sad and slept. I’m fine.” Why is everyone overreacting?
“Cari, I can see you’ve cut your hair; your friends were worried enough that they came over and called me. Not to mention your questionable behavior over the last few months leading up to this. Maybe it’s time we discuss trying medication, at least to see if that could take the edge off things for you?” Shirley says, as if she’s offering me candy and not a life sentence on antidepressants.
Chapter Fourteen
MAX
“So last time we chatted, you discussed your feelings about removing Cari from social media, but also your personal life. How’s that going?” Ben asks.
“I mean, I haven’t thought much about it,” I lie. I don’t know why I lie, but Ben, of course, sees right through it and raises an eyebrow. “Fine. I’ve thought about it a lot. But I didn't unblock her either. It just feels harsh, like I know we weren’t great for each other, but did we have to not speak forever?”
“Well, that’s really something you should be asking yourself, right?”
“I just think she’s great, but she comes on strong, and it’s too much for me to handle at times.” I sigh.
“So you wish for your relationship to be simpler?” Ben asks.
“Yeah. Like, not her personality, but just the fact that everything I did was put under a microscope for a hidden meaning. Like sometimes there isn’t one, sometimes I’m just humming a song because it’s in my head and not because it’s ‘our song’ or some shit,” I grumble.
“Understandable. Is this something you’ve ever discussed with her?”
“Well, no.” I frown.
“So, you were unhappy with the way your relationship was going, yes, it’s still a relationship even if you didn’t label it that, and you didn’t discuss it with your partner? Is there a reason why?”
Sighing, I respond, “I didn’t know how to voice my needs with her. It felt like too much pressure to start something like that. It was much easier just to hook up with her.”
“I see. Do you think now would be the time to discuss it?”
“With her or with you?” I ask, confused.
“With Cari,” He clarifies with a chuckle.
“No. I think it’s better to cut ties and move on.”
“Better or easier?”
“Why can’t it be both?” I counter.
“I just think you might be cutting someone off because it’s easier to leave them before it gets too serious, and they’re the ones to leave. Not that I’m saying Cari is necessarily the best person for you to be with, but it seems to be a pattern in your romantic relationships.”
“A model from work gave me her number last week,” I say, changing the subject. I don’t want to think too hard about what he is saying.
“And are you thinking about seeing her?”
“She’s very beautiful and seems kind.” I shrug.
“Do you think you’re ready to see someone so soon after your relationship with Cari?” he asks.
“I’m not sure this would even be anything, she just gave me her number and said to text her sometime. I thought it might be fun to see someone new, but it sounds like I shouldn’t.”
