She didn’t want to call it anything that it wasn’t. Anything that it couldn’t be.
But it wasn’t casual, that much was certain.
Tomorrow morning, she was going to tell her lawyer to send the divorce papers.
There was no more reason to hold back. She wasn’t even sure why she had been doing it. But it felt right, it felt good, to make the decision.
To feel certain that she was ready to pull the plug.
Because she just didn’t need to give it any of her focus anymore. It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t like she had been holding out hope for a reconciliation or anything like that. She wasn’t. She never had been.
But it was more about being ready to completely release the last thing that still held them together.
He had been her family. And for her, that had been a loaded, desperate reality.
For her, it had represented something so much bigger than it did for a lot of other people.
But she was ready to just let it go now.
She didn’t need the crutch. Not anymore.
Something in her head healed.
And it made her want to reach out to Cody and heal him, too. Which was maybe the most egotistical thought she’d ever had.
She didn’t think she was healed enough for all that.
Just make him dinner.
So, she did.
She could tell that he was just being polite, not because he didn’t like it, but because he was anxious to get to the after-dinner party.
And she was enjoying prolonging that.
Enjoying teasing it out. Letting the anticipation build.
For her, sex and emotion had always been linked, so it had been a surprise to meet him and want him the way that she did, without even knowing him. To hear his voice and want him without ever seeing him.
She wondered then if her body had always known.
That there was something important about him. Something significant.
Whatever happened to him in the future, whatever happened to them, this had been essential for her. He had made her realize things about herself that she would never have understood otherwise.
And she felt… good, knowing that she didn’t feel the need to force it into something that was like forever.
But the word did still stick in her chest, echo inside of her, not because she thought it would make her whole, just because the idea of spending forever with him seemed like a beautiful sort of promise.
After dinner, he picked her up and carried her to his room. Like it was a wedding night.
He laid her down on the bed, his eyes intense on hers, but he didn’t go quickly. No, instead, he moved slow, tracing everyline on her face gently with his thumb, kissing her lips, her jaw, down her neck.
He took his time undressing her.
Cody always surprised her.
Because he could be rough, could be fast. Could claim her like he did in the pickup truck, all male dominance and heat, or he could take it like a leisurely hike, taking the scenic route to get where they wanted to go.
