That night, we gathered around the table. Wherever we were, Bismyth always gathered around a table and ate together, with whoever was there and alive.
When I reeled back through my memories, it was always a different place, but always the same people. I was deeply grateful for them, my family that was always there, redeeming all the years I had once spent alone.
When we had finished our meal, Asrael, Anayla, Cara, and I lingered. All of Bismyth had returned. It was a good night.
“So, Maura has been welcomed back into Bismyth.” Anayla looked to Cara, gauging her reaction.
There had been much celebration today. It had surprised Maura, embarrassed her, and gratified her in equal measure. She had not expected it, as if it was hard to believe she had evern been loved. But this had always been her home.
Cara had made a way for her to return. I still wasn’t entirely sure why, but I was grateful for my wife’s decision. I did intend to have words with her about her little deceit, though.
“I wouldn’t scold your wife,”Shadowbane observed dryly.
“Did you know you were welcoming her back into Bismyth?” Asrael asked pointedly.
Asrael so rarely questioned me. He seemed to see the cracks between Cara and me. “Do you disapprove?”
“Would it matter if I did?” he asked, but he managed to say the words without rancor. Asrael never seemed troubled by hierarchy the way some were. “I am happy with whatever your decision was. Or your wife’s.” He gave Cara a nod.
I almost asked what he had to say, but I knew. There was no reason to test the ground underfoot. I’d caught him and Anayla trading meaningful looks. They knew there was something wrong between Cara and me, and i would be better to acknowledge the truth if it could not be hidden.
“Cara and I have sometimes been at odds lately, but I am happy with her decision to bring Maura home.”
Cara’s face tinted slightly, her cheeks coloring.
“The breach between us is entirely my fault.” I would not let my clan blame Cara. I didn’t want Asrael or Anayla to distrust her. I certainly didn’t want them to hesitate in protecting her.
Cara was a hundred times more important to our rebellion than I was. Someone else could be found to sit on the throne, even if she refused. I didn’t think she would, in the end.
My wife would make a fine queen.
Cara’s lips parted as if she would disagree with me, but then she pressed them back together again. She might have an inclination to argue with me—she always seemed to—but she left this story to be mine.
“So I assumed,” Anayla said, with an easy smile. That smile and inviting charm was why I often sent her to conduct interrogations.
“I needed Cara’s hand in marriage to bring back Lightbringer,” I said bluntly. Trying to soften the facts wouldn’tserve me now. “We all know that the shifter bond is everlasting. Cara was unaware.”
“I told Cara that if she married me, for the purposes of tricking my mother and preventing her from being able to hurt Cara and her family, that I would break the bond with her later.” It sounded as monstrous as it had been. “She has every reason to hate me.”
“I would have done it to protect my family, even if you had told me.” Cara knotted her hands together on the smooth wooden tabletop. “Even if I had known I could never love another.”
She was so brave and fierce. A sudden well of grief opened in my chest; I would never know if she could have loved me without the bond. Perhaps there could have been a bond between us that existed only because of who she was and who I was.
I had stolen that from both of us.
“And was it worth it?” Anayla’s cheeks flushed as she said it. “We seem to have a rebellion without Lightbringer’s powers.”
There was something about the way she said it, as if she had been holding back those words for a long time. “You knew.”
“Cara came to me with questions.” Anayla sat forward in her chair as if she might leap from it, betraying her tension. “Questions that her husband should have been the one to answer for her.”
“I am sorry for that.”
My gaze was on Cara. She was the only one that mattered in the end. Not just for an apology. She was the only one that mattered for everything.
I had been intending to offer Cara my apology privately. But it occurred to me that she might not trust me.
I had promised her once before that the bond could be broken, and it had been a lie. I could make it so that I kept everyvow to her, but why should she find any solace in any more of my promises?
