“Elara,” Rhael warned his eyes, meeting mine as he lay on the ground, propping himself up on his elbows so he could look me up and down. I could see the concern in his eyes as if he was worried there was something I was planning. His mind raced as he considered the possibilities.
“Please, just come inside, it is cold out here. Trust me enough for this.” I whispered, letting the words linger between us for a long drawn out moment.
I thought he would refuse. Would tell me to go inside and leave him alone, putting back up thewalls that we had just let down even if it was just for a moment. However, he stood, a simple nod telling me he would offer me this level of trust.
Even if it was just once, I was grateful for it. For something other than the usual cold master, I had grown to desire and hate all at the same time.
Instead of walking towards the bed chambers, I kept my feet moving over the dark stone of Vaetharyn towards Rhael’s office. Assuming that he would be more comfortable there than in a bedroom.
It smelt like old paper, ink and iron, the walls lined with maps and weapons. The large oak desk just as it was before, scarred from years of use and countless times Rhael had shoved at it, or hit it with objects in his fits of rage. He closed the door behind us with measured care, as if he didn’t want anyone to know where he was or what fragile state he had been in.
I watched as Rhael moved behind the desk, bracing his hands against it. His wings now folded away, hidden back into the slits in his back as if they never existed.
“There, I am inside. You can go.” He said, his voice was cool, completely detached from the intimate moment and understanding we had shared outside.
“You are not calm,” I say quietly. Not daring to step forward but also refusing to leave.
“I am in control.” Rhael hissed as a breath left him through clenched teeth.
“You always say that, but one moment you look at me like I matter and thenext, you shut me out as if I’ve crossed over some invisible line.” I sigh, feeling like I had emotional whiplash. Wondering how we had gone from lying in the grass laughing to now standing on opposite ends of a room like enemies trying to work the other out.
“Because you have,” his eyes lifted to mine, sharp and guarded as if even speaking those words pained him.
“Then tell me why!” I demanded only to be met with silence as he turned to grab a decanter. His hands steady as he poured a drink which, initially, he did not touch.
“You are human. You are fragile in ways you don't understand, and I am not in a position to pretend that fragility can be ignored.” Rhael said, the answer simple, yet the words stung deep beneath my skin.
“That isn't an answer!” I snapped, my eyes widened in disbelief. How could he say that? After I had told him things, I bared my soul to him. Yet now I was still a weakness, a problem he had attached himself to.
“It is the only one you are getting,” he told me, his hands lingering at the edge of the glass, still not picking it up to bring it to his lips. Instead, he stared at the amber liquid as if it was something offensive.
“You don't get to decide what I can handle,” I sighed. He was beyond frustrating and once again I felt like I was stuck back in a guessing game.
“I do. Because despite all of this, despite what you think you are entitled to, what you think youdeserve, I am the one with my head on the line and if I do not do this right, people– my people–will die.” He exclaimed, his hand slamming down on the desk, the sound so loud it made me jump. The words dripped with venom as if they stung to even come out of his mouth.
“And what am I supposed to make of what happened tonight, for when at just a single moment you weren't guarding your emotions like a maximum security prison?” I asked, anger igniting in me with a fire I was not sure I would be able to put out.
“Make nothing of it,” he said simply. Waving his hand as if to dismiss me. Only I didn't move. My feet rooted to the cold floor, as if he didn't feel what I had felt outside, as if now we were back inside the walls of his precious castle none of it mattered. As if I never mattered.
“You are lying!” I accused, my eyes narrowing as I tensed my body. Daring him to reply.
“Elara, I have told you to leave, do so before I forget myself," he said again, finally bringing the amber liquid to his lips, taking one large mouthful, his lips turning to a scowl as he swallowed.
I frowned, deciding to do something wild. Reckless. To prove to him that regardless of what he says I have control. I walk forward, joining him behind the desk before I drop to my knees. The movement is deliberate and controlled.
The stone is cold beneath my skin, grounding me to the spot. I look up at him, watching the way his breath stutters,as if he is afraid to relax.
“You want to push me away, then do it.” I whisper as my hands reach up, undoing his zipper before pulling him free.
I don't know what possessed me to do something that could have resulted in me being thrown across the room. However, the thrill that ran through me, spurred me on as I held his cock in my hands pumping him slowly. Rhael groaned as he stood above me, his hand reaching out and clutching the desk to steady himself.
“Elara,” he warned but he didn't move to stop me as I leant forward licking the bead of pre-cum that leaked from his tip.
“You can stop me, you can tell me no and I will walk away, go back to being the girl who does exactly what you say,” I whispered.
When he said nothing I took him in my mouth, my lips stretching around his girth as I ran my tongue over the softness of his skin.
Bobbing my head, taking him in and out of my mouth as I worked him. My tongue swirled around his sensitive head as he shuddered and groaned above me. I had to use my hand to pump what could not fit into my mouth, twisting and squeezing as I doubled my effort to reach his peak.
