The silence between us was tense and uncomfortable, neither of us willing to break it. Until finally Rhael took a deep breath. Pushing his hands up from the ground as he leant forward. His wings still spread behind him casting shadows over us both.
“I found my brother when he died. He had been left in a room, bloodied and cold. They hadn't even bothered to bite his neck or drain his blood. They'd left it there, pooling on the floor like he wasn't worth their feed. And it was all my fault.” He whispered, pulling his knees up just as I had, hanging his head between them. I tried to keep my face neutral, not wanting to give him the same look he had just given me.
“Why?” I asked, peeking at him from the corner of my eye, watching his chest rise and fall with steady measured breaths. He looked pained, as if talking about it made him physically ache. I could understand.
“I trusted the wrong person. Let them in when I needed to push them away. She had been the assistant to one of my mother’s hand maidens. An elf, she had been so shy, so timid I had thought she would be what I needed. So, I tried hard to find intimacy in the small things. Show her around the castle, teach her secrets that would make her feel more secure andwelcome. I didn't love her, but I thought I would be happy with her, should that be the hand I was dealt” he explained running a hand through his hair, pushing the sweat soaked, dark strands back from his eyes.
“What happened?” I whispered, daring to speak as silence filled us. His chest rose and fell with deep breaths as he thought carefully of his next words.
“She chose the vampires over us. Fed them our information and led them into the castle undetected. They were able to catch us by surprise, we were not prepared. Yet she stood there, as if she was proud of her decision. Like she had something she needed revenge over,” he sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face as he looked out into the distance.
“So now you trust no one.” I sighed, finally understanding him a little better. It wasn't that he couldn't trust, it was that he chose not to. He wanted to keep himself locked away and protect everyone he could whilst leaving himself lonely. Open to the wounds that came with standing alone in front of his enemies.
“Exactly,” he sighed looking up at me finally as I moved a little closer as I tried to hide the pity from my face once more.
“Not even me.” I whispered as I neared him, my hand daring to reach out and touch his arm in the same comforting gesture he had offered me.
“You are who I should trust least.” He laughed, lifting his head and looking up at the night sky. I watched as his face relaxed,his eyes closed as he felt the cold wind over his face. For just a second it looked as though he was almost at peace.
“Yet you keep me around.” I laughed, copying his motion and looking up at the night sky, letting my hand slide from his arm as I decided to lay back. The cold grass pressed against my skin as I focused on the stars above. I heard Rhael chuckle before the sound of him laying down beside me echoed in the silence.
“I can't seem to get rid of you,” he laughed and I turned to face him. Giving it a moment before I spoke. Instead watching how his chest rose and fell once more. He laid right beside me, his arm brushing against my own as I turned to look at him.
“Do you want to? You could always offer me as a trade for Olesia.” I offered, watching him copy my movements, his hand reaching out to trace the scar that lingered on my skin.
I hissed feeling him touch me, the heat I felt from his fingertips made my heart threaten to stop. It was too much, way too much. But I couldn't stop him. I didn't want to stop him.
“No,” he whispered, his hand lingering against my skin. Laying there out in the courtyard it was as if we were children. No responsibility, no pain.
Sharing our experiences like whispered secrets in the dark. Doubt still lingered in my mind, yes he had shared with me, but only because I had done so first. His hand stayed where itwas, tracing soothing
It would have been perfect at that moment to tell him about the vampire. What they had said and how it had made me feel. But I could not.
Something in my chest still felt too heavy, too guarded. I had let him in about what had begun my pain, but I couldn't tell him what was deepening it now. That was something that I would keep close, for now at least.
“I cannot lose her. Without her I would be alone,” he whispered, as if he was hoping the sound would be swallowed by the night.
“You aren't alone. You are a King, who apparently is strong enough to split even wooden dummies apart.” I said, trying to reassure him.
“I was trained to be a warrior, the second born son. I wasn't supposed to be King. My father had said it would be the worst thing to ever happen to Vaetharyn.” He laughed, the sound harsh, but it also made me see how insecure he really was.
That from a young age he was told his role was never to be King, that he would not be good enough.
I would have lied if I had said the intimacy of the moment we were in, was lost on me. Or how strange it was. An hour ago, I was questioning this man's motives, thinking of possibly even betraying him. But then I lay on the floor hearing his darkest secrets and sharing my own. It was unnerving, but I couldn't stop myself.
“Yet here you are, King anyways” I whispered, my breath catching as his fingers traced along the edges of my scar.
It was an odd sensation. I couldn't feel him touching it, but every time he ran a finger down the unburnt skin either side it felt as though I was on fire.
“You have a lot of faith in me,” he smirked, his voice low, as if he did not believe his words.
“You have kept your word so far.” I shrug, ignoring the fact that it was an obvious excuse.
“So far,” he mused. Pushing us into a comfortable silence. His response didn't need a reply, and I didn't feel the need to give him one. It was just us, for once. Roles forgotten, the war lingering just outside the walls of Vaetharyn far from our minds.
We lay like that for a long time. So long that the cold ground no longer felt cold against my skin. Consuming us both as the night sky deepened and the world fell into comfortable silence around us.
“Come inside,” I said, moving to sit up, pushing myself up from the ground looking over at him over my shoulder as I stood. Brushing off the specs of dirt, acting as if I actually cared.
