And now everything was falling apart.
“Come here,” Carson repeated.
Slade looked at him.“Why’re you here?”
Carson’s jaw tensed as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly.“I told you.I missed you.”
“You didn’t come over to see Atticus?”
Carson shook his head.
“Why not?”
A huff of amusement came from Carson.“Can’t it be enough that I wanted to see you?”
No, it couldn’t because Slade didn’t believe him.He wasn’t sure he ever would.
“Why?”
“Goddammit, Slade.Come here.”
Swallowing hard, Slade caved to the demand.He walked around to his side and dropped down on the bed, kicking the blankets away.
He knew he was being petty and stupid about this, but he’d already made an ass of himself by accusing Carson of really wanting Atticus instead of him.The best he could do now was apologize, but he’d been doing too much of that lately.To the point he wasn’t sure he even meant it.If he did, why the fuck would he continue the pattern?
“I know you still don’t trust me,” Carson said, his voice low as he rolled to his side and propped his head on his hand.“But that’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It is.”Carson placed his hand on Slade’s chest.“We had somethin’, Slade, and I’m the one who fucked it up.Now we have the chance to have somethin’ again, and you’re scared.”
“I’m not—” He cut himself off.He saw no reason to lie.Hewasscared.Petrified, really.He knew it would take very little for him to get in deep with Carson again.He’d loved the man in a way he’d never loved anyone else.And unlike his feelings for Atticus, which were new and potentially based on lust rather than something more permanent, what he’d felt for Carson had been real.
His thoughts drifted to yesterday when he’d spent time with Luca and Honor, but then he shook them off as fast as he could, not wanting to dwell on it.Certainly not now.
Maybe he’d only imagined what he felt for Carson.It was possible.Right?
“That’s why I’m here.”Carson dragged his finger over Slade’s chest.“Not to seduce you.I just wanted to spend a few minutes with you before the day got started.”
Slade turned his head, met Carson’s stare.“No bullshit?”
Carson shook his head.“None.I told you before, I’m not takin’ this for granted again.”
He had said that.And Slade wanted to believe him.
The only problem was, he didn’t.Not even a little.
Carson’s voice lowered.“It’s gonna take time for me to prove it.I get that.But if this is what you want, I need you to stop fightin’ me on it.”
What if he didn’t want it anymore?What then?
Slade swallowed past the knot that formed in his throat.“Or what?I mean, would you prefer to just be with Atticus?”
Something flashed in Carson’s eyes.Something that looked a lot like pain.
“I’m sorry.”
Carson exhaled heavily.“I don’t think you are.I think you can’t help but speak the truth.”
