“Iguess I don’t see it that way, but, yeah. I wanted to work at Walker Demo.Fixing things has always been a hobby of mine.”
Beaunodded, understanding completely. He’d been the same way. When he wasn’tplaying football, he spent time at his uncle’s shop, working on cars and someof the heavy equipment. Usually anything to keep him away from the cold chillof his parents’ house.
Theirfood was brought out just in time. Beau enjoyed the steady, easy conversation,but he also felt as though they were dancing around the subjects that were mostimportant. Specifically, Beau had questions he wanted to ask because, until heknew the answers, he didn’t know how to map out what the future might hold.
Notthat he should’ve been mapping out anything. He was supposed to be enjoying themoment, getting to know Ethan on a comfortable level. But for some reason, Beauwanted to know him on a deeper level. What made the man tick? What made himhide even when they both knew his parents and his brothers would be nothing butsupportive of him?
Theconversation continued over dinner, mostly Beau relaying incidents from highschool, all usually involving Zane though the man never seemed to get caught.He was almost as bad as the twins when it came to practical jokes.
Oncetheir empty plates were cleared away, the waiter brought two more beers, andBeau settled in. They had nowhere to be and no one to worry about, so it seemedthat talking – outside of the bedroom – was the ideal way to spend the evening.
Evenif Ethan wasn’t going to like the direction Beau was headed with theconversation.
“What’swrong?” Ethan asked, tipping his beer bottle to his lips. “I see the wheelsspinning. You’re going to ask me something, and I’m not gonna be happy about itam I?”
Beausmirked. “Probably not, no.”
“Getit out there,” Ethan said softly. “I know you have questions, I just can’tpromise I can answer them. Not easily anyway.”
DidBeau really need the answers? Couldn’t he just be satisfied with moving forwardin the direction they were going?
No,unfortunately, he couldn’t. Especially since the direction was going to be muchlike it had been if he didn’t dig deeper. And quite frankly, Beau wasn’t allthat keen on the idea of spending the rest of his life hiding who he was fromthose he cared about. It was hard enough to watch Ethan do it.
Beaupaused for a moment, trying to choose his words carefully. “The other night, atMoonshiners. Reardon mentioned something about his family.”
Ethan’seyes narrowed, and his lips formed a hard line. Clearly Beau had hit a sorespot. Ever since Reardon made the comment, Beau had wondered what he wasreferring to. It was evident based on his reaction that Ethan knew exactly whathe was talking about.
Ethan’ssharp inhale caught Beau’s attention and he looked up, watching and waiting. Hecould see his brain working overtime, knew he was about to say something, butBeau wasn’t sure whether it was going to be a story or simply a fuck off.Either way, Beau wanted to know where he stood with Ethan, and this was themoment of truth. If he wasn’t willing to open up at this point, Beau knew therewas probably no hope for the future.
“JimmyReardon has a younger brother. His name was Gavin.”
Beaucaught the use of past tense mixed with present, but he didn’t say a word.
“Gavinwas…” Ethan paused, taking a pull off of his beer as he stared down at thetable. “Gavin was the first guy I was ever with.”
Understandingdawned immediately, but Beau didn’t speak up, not wanting to interrupt.
“Iwas nineteen and Gavin had just turned twenty when we…”
Again,Ethan trailed off, and Beau tried to read between the lines but he had no ideahow to fill in the blanks. He tried to nurse his beer slowly, wanting to bepatient with Ethan, but he found himself fidgeting.
“Anyway,”Ethan began, his eyes looked glazed as though he had disappeared somewhere inthe past. “I fell in love with him. I lost my virginity to him.” Ethan took adeep breath and continued, “One night he asked me to meet him at the lake.Since we’d been doing that every night for almost a full week, I agreed withoutquestion. When we got there, he wanted to talk. That’s when he told me that hewasn’t gay and that he hadn’t meant to sleep with me.”
Hadn’tmeantto? How the hell was that possible?
“Hesaid it was a mistake and told me that I shouldn’t have forced him. I didn’tforce him, Beau.” Ethan looked directly at him, his eyes almost crazed for amoment. “I swear.”
Thelast two words were a mere whisper, and Beau wanted to reach out and takeEthan’s hand but he didn’t dare. They were in a restaurant, and he knew Ethanwould panic if others were around, so Beau gripped his beer bottle tightly inan effort to keep from doing just that.
“Thatnight, Jimmy showed up. Before I knew what was going on, he was beating on me.With a fucking baseball bat. Gavin stood by and watched, but he didn’t try andhelp. He didn’t even try to stop his brother. I thought I was going to die thatnight.”
Ethan’susual deep baritone was raspy, like his throat was closing up and the wordswere painful to get out.
“Theyleft you there?” Beau couldn’t hold back the question. The outrage that eruptedin his gut was so powerful, he was surprised his beer bottle didn’t collapseinto shards beneath his death grip. The son of a bitch beat Ethan and left himfor dead. And the man Ethan loved had fucking watched?
“Yeah,they left me there. Luckily I had my cell phone. I managed to call Sawyer andhe found me, took me back to his house. Greyson wanted to take me to thehospital, but I refused.”
Greyson,the paramedic.Shit.Ethan must’ve been bad off for that to benecessary. Being that Beau was just a couple of years younger, he wondered howhe’d never known about this. Surely he would’ve remembered something thathorrible happening to one of Zane’s brothers.
