“That sucks balls.”
“No, you suck balls.”
“The fuck I do. Mine are always eager, in case you’re offering now.”
“Fuck off.”
“No, you fuck off.”
The voices came from the front of the house, and I peeked out of the kitchen in time to see Rhyan—the woman from last night—and a … I glanced out the window to ensure I wasn’t seeing things because now there were two Red Wallys.
“Whoa,” the Red Wally Doppelgänger said. “You the wife?”
I stared at the redheaded man with the glittering brown eyes and well-maintained goatee—it was the only thing different between him and Red Wally. Like his identical twin, he was a definite ginger. The fiery orange hair on his head was the giveaway, but the multitude of freckles on his face, nose, and arms solidified the point.
“Ignore him. He’s an idiot. I didn’t officially introduce myself last night,” Rhyan said as she approached, depositing several bags on the counter before holding out her hand to me. “Rhyan Ambrose.”
I shook it because it felt rude not to.
“This here is WilliamHoffstadtler,” she said, nodding toward Red Wally’s mirror image.
“My friends call me Willy.”
Willy and Wally … that was … I wondered if there was any relation to Waldo, the chocolate lab. I couldn’t contain my grin.
“The man who doesn’t suck balls,” I said. “Nice to meet you.”
He barked a laugh, then jerked his chin toward the back of the house. “Speaking of … the ball and chain hooked up already?”
“Yep,” I said, feeling like any minute the rabbit was going to make an appearance, and I was going to veer off down a dark hole into another dimension. I held out my hand to let him admire the non-existent wedding ring on my finger. “You like?”
Willy played along, gently clasping my fingers and turning my hand this way and that as though admiring the sparkle of the imaginary diamond. “Impressive. I didn’t know he had it in him.” He winked.“Welcome to the family.”
“You one of his other wives?” I deadpanned.
His expression went from amused to downright jovial as he huffed a laugh. “I like you, girl. I really like you.”
Rhyan, who was grinning from ear to ear, began pulling paper cartons out of the bags and setting them on the island. “I brought food.”
“AndIbrought an appetite,” Willy said before nodding toward the back windows. “I’ll go see if he needs anything.”
“Do they call him Red Willy?” I asked Rhyan when he stepped outside.
“That’s only reserved for Wally.”
I was nosy, so I kept going. “How come?”
Rhyan stopped what she was doing to look out the back window, her dark eyebrows arched in confusion. “Honestly, I think because it’s easier to say.”
“Versus?”
“Willy and Wally? Try saying it several times fast.”
Mentally, I did exactly that because that was what you did when someone said to.
Rhyan laughed. “Try it in the throes of orgasm. It’s even harder.”
My eyebrows arched to my hairline as I stared at her, processing what that meant.
