When he settled onto his back, Sam rolled toward him, resting her head on his shoulder and her palm on his chest. “Did y’all talk?”
“I gave him my thoughts on the situation.”
“Which are?”
His head turned, his lips pressing to her forehead. “You and I both know it’s complicated, Sam. We’ve been living with that for a while, but he’s just now learning what it means to have feelings for someone who’s not you.”
She frowned, confused for a moment, but then she realized what he was saying. When they’d gotten together, Elijah had still been deeply in love with his dead wife, but he’d opened himself up to her, allowed her in. In a lot of ways, she figured that was the same as what she’d felt when she realized she was falling in love with Elijah. And now, here she was, in love with two men. And she loved them equally, couldn’t imagine her life without either of them.
What she found most interesting was that she wasn’t jealous that Logan and Elijah had developed feelings for one another. She hadn’t considered it even a possibility back in the beginning, but it made perfect sense how they could. They were both extremely passionate men, and though they were often driven by their lust and desires, their hearts were as much a part of who they were as anything else.
Nor was she jealous that they’d had sex without her there. She couldn’t count how many times she’d had sex with them without the other present. That was the way their relationship worked.
What bothered her the most was that Logan thought his feelings were a betrayal to her. It pained her to think that the reverse could be true. She had never considered falling in love with Elijah as a betrayal to Logan because they’d talked about it again and again. Sam remembered wanting to ensure that Logan understood where their relationship stood as things progressed.
She wondered why he hadn’t done the same for her.
“Do you love him?” she whispered in the dark.
Elijah put his hand over hers. “I do.”
“Do you think that’s what drove you to want him?”
His head tilted toward her. “I never thought about it like that, but I guess it could’ve played some role in it.”
For the past week, when she was attempting to rationalize Logan’s behavior, Sam had tried to put herself in their position. She had imagined a scenario where the roles were reversed, and she was sharing Logan or Elijah with another woman. In all fairness, she wasn’t sure she ever could’ve done it, but for the sake of understanding, she had pretended. Would she have fallen in love with a woman she’d grown close to like that? She honestly didn’t know, but she could see how it could happen. People changed because of the situations they found themselves in. She certainly had. At one point, she’d never imagined she could love someone nearly as much as she loved Logan, but she did. Her heart was divided right down the middle, with each of them holding a half.
With that thought comforting her somewhat, Sam allowed herself to drift off, hoping Logan would find his way back to them, because deep down, she knew this was where the three of them belonged.
***
When Elijah had gone inside, Logan hadn’tbeen tired, which was why he’d spent the past couple of hours doing mundane chores. After getting out of the pool, he had picked up the clothes he and Elijah had discarded, dumping them in the laundry room. He’d then emptied the dishwasher, surveyed the refrigerator, and added things to the grocery list Sam kept pinned on the door. After that, he had wandered through the empty house, taking it all in. It was the first time he’d noticed how much things had changed in their lives over the past seven years. The ways in which Elijah’s presence had altered everything.
Funny how he hadn’t noticed until now. He figured that was because it was normal to him. The pictures of Elijah and Sam on the bookshelf, cards that they’d given each other over the years. It was all on display the same as the photographs of Logan and Sam, the cards they’d exchanged.
Elijah was right to say that Sam loved him the same way she loved Logan. The proof was all around him, and Sam had never asked his permission to merge their lives in that way because his permission wasn’t needed. She’d done it because it felt right to her and because she loved Elijah.
And because they’d been open with each other from the beginning. Elijah hadn’t randomly appeared in their lives. Logan had set that in motion, and Sam had talked to him every step of the way as things progressed. In some way, Logan had always been a part of her relationship with Elijah. And vice versa.
Yet he’d never really noticed since Elijah’s presence in their lives was as natural as breathing.
It was a little after two when he finally forced himself to go to bed. He wasn’t tired, and he wasn’t sure what he would find on the other side of that bedroom door, but he knew he couldn’t let his fears keep him away any longer.
When he slipped into the room, he was greeted by the soft, even sounds of their breathing. They were asleep, Sam curled up to Elijah. He stood there for a second and watched them as he’d done so many times before. It was normal, he realized. There was no pain, no confusion because his wife wanted another man. He’d long ago accepted that she was in love with Elijah, that he could provide her with the same comfort and love she got from him.
Would she feel the same if she was in his shoes? If she walked into this room and found him and Elijah in a similar embrace?
Logan frowned, realizing that was the first time he’d wondered that. This thing with Elijah … it wasn’t about exploring their sexual boundaries or finding pleasure in one another. It was more.
With a sigh, he stripped off his boxers and crawled into bed on his side. He moved toward Sam, spooning behind her. He exhaled his relief when she sighed, her hand sliding off of Elijah’s chest so she could reach back and touch him. She rested her hand on his hip, still sleeping soundly.
Testing the waters, Logan draped his arm across her, resting his palm on Elijah’s stomach.
It wasn’t until Elijah’s hand moved over his that he relaxed enough to fall asleep.
