Another slow nod from Elijah.
Logan could tell he was trying to understand, so he opted for the truth. “When I… Whenwe…” He swallowed. “Something changed in me that night.”
“The night you fucked me,” Elijah said. His words weren’t harsh but very direct.
“Yes. The night I fucked you, something changed.” Logan shook his head. “That’s not true. Something changed before then. That night confirmed it.”
Elijah didn’t speak, just stared, waiting.
“I didn’t fall in love with you because we kissed or touched … or fucked,” Logan clarified. “I think I fell in love with you before that, and what happened between us brought it to the surface.”
If Elijah was shocked by his admission, he didn’t show it. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“No.”
That much Logan knew to be true. He didn’t question his feelings for Elijah. How or when they developed was moot at this point. Logan was beyond trying to figure it out or explain it away. If the trip had done anything for him, it helped him accept that what he felt for Elijah was real. As real as what he felt for Sam. He loved them both and wanted to spend the rest of his life with them.
“I wasn’t trying to run from my feelings for you, Eli.” He glanced at the back door, ensuring Sam wasn’t standing there. He looked back at Elijah. “That night when I fucked you, not once did I think about Sam, and that scared me.”
“I didn’t think about her either. But why would I? She wasn’t there. She didn’t need to be there, Logan. That was between the two of us. She would understand that.”
“Maybe, but I still felt like I was betraying her.”
“You weren’t.” Elijah took a drink. “We betrayed her when we kept it from her.”
Logan hadn’t thought about it that way. It made sense, though.
“You mentioned my first date with Sam,” Elijah said. “I remember it, too. I spent that night getting to know her and trying to understand how I would possibly fit into her life. Do you remember me calling you that night?”
Logan frowned, trying to recall. “It was so long ago.”
Elijah smiled, his gaze drifting away from his face. “Sam invited me back to your house that night. I told her I had to call you first. She told me she had already talked to you, but I needed to hear it for myself. She’syourwife, Logan. Since the beginning, Sam has beenyourwife. I share her with you, even if she doesn’t see it that way. It’s still true. I wanted her so badly, but I couldn’t go any further until I knew you were okay with what was happening. That’s why I called you that night. To get your blessing. Not because I wanted you to be there with us. I didn’t. I wanted her to myself.”
Logan listened intently, willing Elijah to keep going.
