“We’ll start with one night,” Gage continued. “See how it goes.”
Travis wasn’t sure he’d survive it, but at the same time, he knew he wouldn’t survive leaving Gage alone tonight. Hell, he couldn’t survive much more of this rift they were creating between them. It was tearing him to shreds with each passing day.
“Okay.”
Gage must’ve known he was having a difficult time processing even with his agreement because he didn’t go far, leading the way to their bed.
Every step Travis took felt heavy. His heart picked up a new rhythm, a drumbeat of both pain and need, loss and love.
“Be with me tonight, Trav. Just me. Justus. For a little while.”
Travis focused only on Gage, on the man he had fallen in love with, the man who’d been his lifeline and his anchor over the years.
“I love you,” Travis whispered, sliding his palms over Gage’s whiskered cheeks.
“I know.”
Travis realized that was the second time Gage had responded that way. He hadn’t returned the sentiment, merely acknowledged it.
“Tell me you love me, Gage,” Travis insisted, pulling back enough that he could see Gage’s face clearly, so he could look in his eyes. “Tell me.”
“I do, Travis. Of course I do.”
He cupped Gage’s face firmly. “Tell. Me.”
Gage’s eyes flashed with pain once again.
Travis stepped in, holding Gage roughly. “Tell me you love me, damnit.”
“I love you,” Gage blurted, a sob tearing free. “Goddammit, Travis. I love you.”
“Why’s it so hard for you to say it?”
Gage’s brown eyes shined with unshed tears. “It’s not.”
He wouldn’t say that was a lie, but it damn sure wasn’t the truth.
“Tell me again,” he demanded, sliding his hands into Gage’s hair, gripping firmly as he looked down into his eyes.
“I love you,” Gage rasped, as though the words were torn from his chest. “I love you so fuckin’ much, Travis. So much, but it hurts. I know you loved Kylie more, I know—”
Travis staggered back, dropping his arms. “What? Why the fuck would you think that?”
Gage’s eyes scanned his face. “How can I not? You can’t even look at me. I’m the one who has to pin you down just to get a few minutes of your time. I’m the one who comes to you every fuckin’ night because I don’t want you to forget me.”
Travis stared, mouth agape.
“Without her, what’s left, Travis?” Gage asked, eyes pleading. “Tell me that. You’ve always said you couldn’t have one without the other. That was your reasoning, was it not? The reason you and Kylie went your separate ways in the very beginning? Because you needed both.”
Travis had no idea what to say. Not because there was any truth in what Gage was saying. Well, not anymore. He had said that. Yes. A long fucking time ago. Long before he’d fallen in love with both Kylie and Gage individually.
“I don’t want you to forget me, Travis,” Gage said, his tone defeated. “I don’t—”
Travis cut him off by slamming his mouth down on Gage’s. He kissed him, taking them both down to the bed. He was rough, but he was angry, so it made sense. How could this man think so little of him? How could he believe that he would ever not want him?
“I don’t love her more,” he growled, settling over Gage.
“It’s all right if you do, Trav. I understand.”
