For a moment, all I could do was stand there staring at them awe-struck. I’d seen wings before. Many times by this point. I’d even flown in Caim’s arms. But seeing those wings on myself was different. It felt like I was seeing some sort of mirage. My eyes were catching it, but nothing about it felt real.
From the far end of the block, I heard the unmistakable clatter of heels on pavement. My heart jolted in my chest as I took an unsteady step in the opposite direction. Someone was coming. Probably an unsuspecting human who had no idea supernaturals existed in this world. Seeing me standing there with massive black wings would probably scare the shit out of her. And technically, I’d be breaking Lucifer’s laws.
Not that any of that mattered. Lucifer was stuck behind the hellgate and there was nothing he could do about it. That said, I probably didn’t want a human screaming and waking up the entire neighborhood.
Best get out of here before she spotted my feathers.
I eyed the sky. What were the odds I could safely launch myself up into the clouds without plummeting to my death?
Shaking my head, I rolled back my shoulders. This might be a terrible idea, but it’s the only one I had.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I started running down the street. Just as I pushed off the ground, the clouds opened up overhead. A light drizzle misted my face, and droplets stung my eyes. I blinked them away as the ground hurtled out from beneath me.
My wings were like a pair of awkward arms I’d never used. I tried using them to grasp onto the air, and I hurtled sideways through the brewing storm. A sharp cry lurched out of my throat. I windmilled my arms, like that would help, but I careened wildly toward the ground.
The pavement rose up to greet me faster than a bullet train. Fear thundered in my heart. I was going to crash. And without advanced healing, I would die.
Another pair of dark wings suddenly whipped in from my left. Caim appeared, his face transformed by fury. He darted beneath me and caught my hips when I was only seconds from the ground. The sudden force knocked my breath out of my lungs.
Slowly, he eased me onto the street, released his grip around my waist, and stumbled back. Rain poured into his face, darkness whorling through his eyes.
“Caim,” I breathed, shuddering as the feathers and talons melted into my skin. I was very aware that I was now standing there half-naked. The wings had ripped through the back of my shirt, and the windy flight had yanked the rest of the material away. Caim was the same. His chest glistened from the rain.
He closed his eyes, and his jaw clenched. “I’m leaving now, Eva. Don’t follow me. You’ll only end up hurting yourself. You haven’t been trained to fly.”
“If you were as far gone as you say you are, you wouldn’t have saved me.”
He shuddered and took a step back, his eyes still shut tight. “A momentary lapse in judgement. It won’t happen again.”
Without another glance in my direction, Caim spun on his feet to turn away from me. I caught his arm. The rain pelted my hair and my face, but I barely felt the sting of it. My eyes were too glued to Caim’s back. The way his jaw clenched. The way his shadows seemed to melt into the storm.
Whatever he might say, he was not too far gone now.
“Stay with me,” I whispered to him. “Look into my eyes and tell me you’re not in there. Tell me the demon has fully taken control.”
I thought he might shake me off and run. That was what my demon would have done when confronted with the truth. She would have screamed into his face and then shot up into the sky, putting as much distance between us as she could.
But then...he slowly turned. His eyes caught mine. Torment and pain roiled within them, but I saw a flicker of the man I knew. I’d never been more certain of anything in my life.
“Don’t let go,” I said, pulling him toward me. “Not now, Caim. I need you.”
With a shudder, he pushed aside the demon and took control.
25
Eva
“Eva,” he murmured, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck. His thumb whispered across my soaked hair, and then slid along the length of my jaw. “I’m so sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” I insisted as I melted into his touch. Despite my belief that I could bring him back, an overwhelming relief liquified my bones. I’d been terrified of losing him forever, but here he was. I never wanted to let him go. “It’s not your fault.”
“Itismy fault.” His jaw flickered. “I’ve held off the darkness inside of me for decades. I never should have let it go that far. Do you know what could have happened?” Shaking his head, he dropped my hand from my face and took a long step back. “I could have destroyed this entire fucking city.” He winced. “I could have hurtyou.”
“You never would have hurt me, Caim. I think you proved that just now. I was in danger. You pushed through the darkness to save me from tumbling to my death.”
He shook his head, his eyes pained. “But it never should have gotten to that point, Eva. I snapped. The darkness took control. I—”
“Didn’t do anything wrong.” Slowly, I strode toward him and wrapped my hands around his, forcing myself into his line of sight. I wasn’t going to let him beat himself up over this, not after everything that had happened. I knew what this was like. Far too well. “Yes, you snapped. But you know what? It’s over. You’re here. I’m here.We’re okay. What is it you like to tell me when I lose myself? It’s not my fault. If you believe that about me, then believe it about yourself.”
