“Then say it right.” My voice cracked a little. “Please.”
She stared at the floor. “I told you things that night. Things I don’t tell people. I thought… I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.”
“Em,” I begged, my throat sore from emotion. I’d been so close to texting her, asking her out that night, then I hadn’t. Old teammates took me out way too late, but she’d been on my mind the entire time. I figured I’d have more time, but fuck. I had no idea shewantedit. That me not calling hurt her.
She swallowed hard but kept her gaze down. I could see the embarrassment choking her. Her shoulders were hunched like she protected something fragile. My chest ached with the weight of what I’d done.
“You disappeared, Noah,” she whispered. “It felt like I overshared for no reason. I felt like afuckingidiot. I’m such a failure, and you just said all that, and I felt…” She cut herself off fast and pressed her lips together.
I took a slow step closer. “You felt what?”
She shook her head. “No. I shouldn’t have said anything. You don’t owe me an explanation. We weren’t… we aren’t…” Her voice trailed, embarrassed and tight. “It doesn’t matter. Really. Miles came to you, and that makes sense.”
“Yes, it does.” My voice broke again. Panic rose because this was the moment I feared. The moment she saw how badly I had messed up. “Em, I am so sorry. I never meant… that night… it wasn’t supposed to go like that.”
“It’s fine.” She straightened abruptly, like she was bracing herself. “I got over you not calling. I’m over it. It isn’t a big deal.” She lied with her whole body.
“Reconnecting with you was a big deal to me. Still is a big deal,” I said, hating the way she retreated. The light I built in her eyes faded. The smiles from five minutes ago were gone. She said she didn’t trust guys besides me, and I’d still hurt her.
She flinched like the words hurt. “Well. You made me think it was something special when it wasn’t.”
That one hit me straight in the ribs. I deserved it.
“I should have called you.” I gripped my hair, tugging the ends. “God, I wanted to. I?—”
She held up a hand, shaking her head. “Your reason doesn’t matter. We’re good now. We’re friends. No reason to rehash. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“Em, no?—”
“I need to work. Sassy, come on, baby, let’s go outside.”
She vanished down the hall, carrying every wrong assumption I had put on her shoulders. I could have chased her. I could have stopped her. But I didn’t move a muscle. I stayed frozen in the kitchen, listening to her footsteps fade, and one brutal thought hit harder than any tackle in my life.
She had no idea how much she mattered to me, and I had no one to blame for that but myself.
13
EM
There was no true reason to look extra…spicy today to head to the stadium. The brand meetings were normal, and I’d have to talk to the same team—and that did mean Noah, but clothes were my armor. My makeup gave me an extra layer of protection. It always had, when I was younger living at home and when I went through a breakup. God, after Jace cheated on me and I had my breakdown, I started really having fun with colors. Applying an extra layer of mascara and spending a little extra time on my eyeshadow made me feel good, and that was what mattered. How I felt about myself.
“Look good, feel good, right girl?” I spoke to Sassy, who lay on the bed with her tail thumping. “We’re pretty girls, huh?”
Her tail wagged harder, and I bent down to kiss her head and breathe in her scent. Life was just her and me, and I was so lucky I’d found her. My dad made his opinion clear on me getting a dog without arealcareer, but my mom and siblings loved her and asked for daily photos. I placed my spare glasses on her and snapped a pic, sending it to the group chat without my dad.
I waited for Daniel’s response—he loved her the most—but my phone buzzed with a text from Noah.
Noah: Hi, good morning. I dropped Miles off and am stopping for coffee. Can I bring you anything?
Simple. Sweet. So Noah. Regret from last night weaved its way through me, threading under my skin to the point I itched it with my navy nails.
For the tiniest heartbeat I considered not answering. I could let the message sit there until I felt less stupid. But ignoring Noah never lasted more than twenty seconds. I didn’t want him to worry.
I typed back carefully, choosing each word like it might explode in my hands.
Em: Morning! I’m all set. Already caffeinated. Thanks though! Have a great practice. :)
The smiley face was overkill—borderline suspicious—but I needed to projectsunshine, stability, and zero emotional wreckage.Sassy huffed like she didn’t buy my act either.
