“Come on.” I kept my voice low and walked her down the hall. Miles’s door was shut, covered in Pokémon stickers. Charmander, Pikachu, and Evee were his favorite, and those stickers were the largest. The same confusing feelings of protection, love, grief, and guilt twisted into a painful rope that suffocated me. But with Em here, I could force my issues to the back burner. If anything, having her with us was a great distraction.
I pointed to the next white door. “This one is all yours. Bathroom is across from you. If you need anything, I’ll be right there.” I tipped my head at my door.
She stepped into the room and stopped. “This is perfect,” she said. Her voice was thin. Her shoulders dropped half an inch.
I set her duffel on the dresser and backed into the hall. I wanted to list every way I could make this easier, what I could do to help ease her worry or stress, but instead of her chatting a mile a minute, she was silent. “Do you need anything else? Food?”
She shook her head.
“More tea? A beer?”
“No, I’m okay.” Her voice was so damn small, so unlike her that my heart physically ached. I wanted her fight. I wanted her to call me out, to be mad at me for not calling her two months ago. I wanted the girl on top of the Ferris wheel.
“Does Sassy need to go out one more time?” I asked, just needing to do something else for her. “You can settle in, and I’ll take her.”
Sassy wagged her tail at the mention of her name, the cute black lab walking toward me with a butt wiggle. I crouched and petted her head, scratching behind her ears. “You are such a pretty girl, aren’t you? You protected your momma tonight, yeah? Such a brave, good girl.”
Her tail wagged even harder, thumping on the floor over and over. She licked my face once, then twice, and Em laughed. Good.
“She’s so aggressive.” Em had that half smile, and seeing that fixed the ache in my chest that had been there since I picked her up. “Sas, give him some space, damn.”
“Nah, I like it.” I continued petting Sassy but met Em’s eyes. “She’s perfect. Let me take her out. All I ask is if you don’t mind listening for Miles. He is passed out, but if he wanders out and I’m not there, he might worry.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Your lips still look a little blue. Warm up.”
She handed me Sassy’s leash, her eyes downcast. “Seriously, I?—”
“Hey. Hey.” I pressed my finger against her lip, stopping the phrase that was about to leave her mouth. “No more thanking. No apologizing. I don’t want to hear that come out of your mouth. Got me?”
I tried not to think about how full her lips were against my finger, or how her eyes widened and her cheeks pinkened just slightly. “If you do, I’ll get mad, and you don’t wanna see me mad.”
Her lips quirked. “Are we talking sophomore year mad, when you broke a library chair? Or senior year mad, when you bought a spell online to curse your rival?”
“Somewhere in between.”
She saluted me, once again smiling and not looking at melike a lost puppy. “Understood, Abbott. Since I can’t thank you, then get to it. Sassy’s gotta go pee.”
There she was. I tapped the doorframe and took Sassy with me to endure the weather. The dog was beautiful and so happy. I petted her head while we waited for the elevator, so glad Em found her. Em had always wanted a dog in college, and she’d gone through with it. “You did good, pup. Real good.”
The rain beat down on us, and I found a little alcove for Sassy to pee, and without Em standing in front of me, my thoughts overwhelmed me.
Em barefoot in the rain. The way she attempted to sound fine on the phone. The trash bags on her shoulder. My chest felt hot and tight.
I wanted to start a list for tomorrow. Call her building. Start the claim. Handle the work with the mitigation company. Sit next to her while she itemized what she lost. The weight of what she was carrying made me angry—especially knowing she’d tried to do it alone, refusing any help.
The guilt came next. If I had reached out to her in June, we wouldn’t be starting here. I should have called that night, asked her out, anything so she wouldn’t be so hesitant around me. I pinched the bridge of my nose, exhaling as Sloane told me to when thoughts were too much.Do what you can control.
I could help her. Let her stay here. Offer to make some calls.
I could get her food.
Yes, I could do those things without disrupting Miles’s life too much, because that was reality. Miles was my priority now. Just thinking about him had me hurrying back upstairs, stressed he’d wake up and be scared without me there. We were back in the apartment within a minute, and the second I let Sassy off the leash, she jogged toward Em’s room.
“I appreciate your assistance with this matter, good sir,” Em said, leaning against her doorframe. She’d braided her hair, abraid on each side, and her eyes had finally gone from pure panic to just worry now. “Your effort is noted in regards to Sassy.”
“Uh, why are you talking like a nobleman?”
