Grinning, I grabbed for her, pulling her to me, and tugging at the bow at her neck. The tie popped open, exposing a great deal of her breasts. “You should be sorry,” I said, tracing the swell of each. Yeah, I did like her shirt, and not just because of its easy access. The whole outfit made her look put together in a way I’d never seen her before—less like a girl and more like a woman. Less like Lucas’s girlfriend… and more likemywoman.
“The guys at work were giving me shit about it.” I bent to kiss her just as she pushed me away.
“Wait, what?” Willow peered up at me, all traces of humor gone. “What were they saying?”
“Nothing really—just stupid jokes and stuff.”
“Jokes about us?”
Her sudden switch in demeanor caused a swell of irritation within me. Running my hands through my hair, I said, “Yeah, Willow,us. It’s not exactly a secret—the whole fucking camp knows.”
“And they don’t think we’re… bad people?”
Folding my arms over my chest, I stared hard at her. “Are you trying to tell me thatyouthink we’re bad people?”
“No… yes… I don’t know. I just mean…” Sighing, she rubbed at her temples. “It feels like it should feel wrong, you know? But then… it doesn’t, especially…”
“When?” I’d already guessed what she meant—during sex, of course—but I still wanted to hear her say it. No, Ineededto hear her say it—for me, for her, and for the ghost of my brother wedged between us.
“I loved him, Logan,” she snapped, not rising to my bait. “I still love him.”
As if I could have suddenly forgotten. “What does that have to do with anything?” I demanded. “I’ve never questioned how you felt about him—that’s always been pretty fucking obvious.”
“But I’ve questioned it!” Willow shouted. “I questioned it back then and I’m questioning it now, because…because if we really loved him then I don’t know why we keep doing this to him.”
“Jesus, Willow. We’re not doing anythingto him. He’s gone, remember?” I stepped closer, fighting the urge to grab her by her shoulders and shake some sense into her. “And we both know that if Luke were still here,none of this ever would have happened.” I spat my last few words, hating the harsh truth of them.
She pinned me with a hard look. “That doesn’t make me feel any less guilty. And I keep thinking about how hurt he would be if he knew.” Her hard gaze turned tortured. “How the hell am I supposed to live with that?”
I waited a moment before responding, trying desperately to temper my anger. The last thing I wanted to do was start yelling or saying things I didn’t really mean.
“We screwed up back in Asheville,” I eventually gritted out. “That’s never been up for debate. But this is different, everything is fucking different this time, and I don’t know how to make you see that.
“Would Luke be hurt if he knew? Probably. And yeah, it fucks me up to think about that. But the fact remains that he’s gone. He’s never going to know about any of it. It’s just me and you in the here and now, Willow, and I’m not going to waste my time or energy feeling guilty over shit I can’t change.
“And to be perfectly fucking honest, I wouldn’t change it even if I could. And if that makes me a bad brother—” I shrugged angrily. “Then so be it.”
Willow went still, her eyes wide and mouth ajar. Whether she was surprised by my honesty or shocked by the brutality of my admission, I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t care. It was well past time for some honesty, no matter how brutal, to be injected into our fucked-up relationship.
