Sweat gathered on my forehead, and my hands grew warm and clammy.
I could have saved myself from ever having to experience that kiss, that motherfucking kiss that had gone on for hours. Her soft hair in my hands, her smooth skin beneath my roughened palms. That openmouthed, breathless look she’d given me every time we’d come up for air. And the way her body had bowed into mine, the way she’d turned up her face, seeking more.
You did this to yourself,the voice said, but not in a mocking way. Instead the voice sounded sad and pitying.
No. No ...
“Fuck!” I shouted, looking wildly around. This wasn’t going to happen. This wasn’t how this shit was going to end. She wasn’t going to come thrashing into my life like a rabid dog, forcing me to ... to ... And then making me ...
“FUCK!” I bellowed, grabbing my head.
I needed her back. I needed her because I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t go back ... to that.
Dropping my hands, I took off in a run, weaving around the buildings until I broke free into the grass. My truck was just up ahead with a full tank of gas, glinting brightly among the rows of vehicles, beckoning me.
I yanked my keys free as I came to a crashing stop at the driver’s side door. Fumbling for a moment, I unlocked the door and wrenched it open. Breathing heavily, I jumped inside and started the engine, floored the gas, and set the tires spinning before I’d even closed the door.
It was a straight shot to the gate entrance that Wildcat had destroyed, but it had been repaired in such a way that it wasn’t a viable exit for me. I had no choice but to circle the entire compound and head toward the main gate where nearly half the guards would be waiting, all of them armed.
Shit. I eased my foot off the gas. I had minimal weapons on me, and only a few in the bed of my truck.
“Fuck it,” I muttered, flooding the engine. It would have to do.
When I pulled up to a rolling stop at the front gate, I was swarmed by men, all peering curiously at me. Rolling down my window, I did my best to appear angrier than I actually was. Because what I was actually feeling was strung the fuck out.
“You’re not on the list for a run today,” one of them said as he looked over my lap and into the passenger seat.
“Open the fucking gate,” I snarled. “I don’t fucking answer to you.”
The man who’d spoken to me shared a look with another man, this one older and probably his superior. The old man stepped forward as the younger one hurried to get out of his way.
“There’s no problem with you leaving, E,” he said, looking thoughtful. “But we’re gonna have to check the truck, make sure you’re not leaving with anything that don’t belong to you.”
I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and shake him. Just this morning Autumn had left through these very gates, unauthorized no less, and no one had given it a second thought. Either they hadn’t recognized her, or because she’d been with the doctor and a contingent of guards, they didn’t see any need for concern. But the rules were still clear—no female was to leave these gates without permission from both her man and the ruling couple in charge. And there wasn’t a chance in hell Liv would have let Autumn out of Purgatory.
For a second I contemplated asking the guards what direction the team this morning had taken, but I didn’t want to rouse their suspicions. These lackeys worked for Liv and Jeffers, and if Liv caught wind of this mess, Autumn would be better off living in a sewer.
“Everything in this truck is mine,” I gritted out. Gripping the steering wheel in an attempt to keep my hands from encircling his neck, I squeezed it tightly. “You’re really gonna make me wait? I’m losing daylight here.”
Clucking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, the older man raised his bushy salt-and-pepper brows. “You’re scavenging today?”
My nostrils flared. “Why the fuck else would I leave?”
“True that,” another man said, snickering. “Ain’t no one in their right mind wants to be out there.”
Except Autumn, I thought bitterly. And Wildcat. Both women I’d found myself mixed up with.
Yeah, the voice said, giggling.Your track record really sucks.
“All right,” the older man muttered. Lifting two fingers in the air, he twirled them in a circle. “Open ’em up, boys!”
A switch was flipped, killing the power to this portion of the fence, and the motor affixed to the entrance roared to life. Slowly, inch by motherfucking inch, the gate began to open. Anxiously tapping my foot on the gas pedal, I clenched my jaw, grinding my teeth while waiting impatiently for these fucking assholes to get the hell out of my way.
When they finally moved, when the gate was fully open and my path was clear, I jerked my chin in thanks to the older man and slammed down on the gas. A cloud of gravel and dirt kicked up behind me as I left Purgatory in my rearview.
The road was dead ahead; no time to sit and fucking ponder which direction I was going to take. Split-second decision making told me to hook a left and so I did, speeding down the empty road on my way to nowhere.
Chapter Thirty
