Eagle seemed just as surprised as I was, the humor in his eyes waning as his stare darkened and intensified. “Wouldn’t you?” he said quietly.
My chest expanded as a constricting, yet heady sensation rippled just beneath my skin and tears pricked my eyes. For some reason, I was overcome.
“Never,” I said softly, and I meant it. I trusted him implicitly. I didn’t know why or how, or even when it happened, but it had, and what was the point in hiding it? I wanted him to know, and I wanted him to feel the same. Did he feel the same?
I got my answer when he handed me the blade. Swallowing, I took it from him, our fingers touching briefly as a sizzle of something warm burned between us. But not nearly as warm as the look in his eyes.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked.
He took a heavy breath and dropped his shoulders like a broken old man. “Take it all off. Just get rid of everything.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Eagle
“I’ve never done this before,” Autumn said in a nervous voice, a slight tremor in her hand as she tentatively ran her fingers through my wet hair.
I’d figured as much. I also figured on getting nicked a time or two, but I hadn’t been able to help myself. What she’d said ...
I’d never hurt you.
Those were powerful words, especially uttered during a time when everyone was out for themselves. This world was kill or be killed, survival of the fittest, do it or die trying. Which made her words even more powerful than my promise to protect her.
But it wasn’t just the words, it was the person who’d spoken them and the true conviction I’d heard behind them. It was ... it fucking moved me.
And because she moved me, I wanted her hands on me, I wanted her close to me, touching me, even if that meant I was going to lose bits of my scalp in the process.
“Don’t cut close,” I told her. “Just cut the length. Saw it off like you would a piece of meat, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
She drew herself closer to where I was seated, and her chest grazed my bare back. Again she ran her fingers through my hair, her nails lightly scouring my scalp as she pulled the hair back. It was nothing, simply light touches, but fuck, they sent sparks of sensation shooting through me to the point of sensory overload. And I knew if I wasn’t careful, I was going to do something stupid. Stupid like grab her and ...
And then what? Then what the fuck did I do?
I didn’t know what the hell to do with her. She was unlike anything I’d ever encountered before, or had even wanted.
Not true,the voice whispered.Not true at all.
That’s different,I snapped.You were different.
Was I?The voice laughed, a genuine and happy laugh.I was younger than her when we married. I was shy and naive.
Also different, I bit out.I was a kid too.
Autumn started to cut, tugging hard on my hair as she did, and although the voice fell silent, my thoughts continued. Maybe she wasn’t exactly unlike anything I’d ever wanted. I had wanted a girl once, a beautiful girl with red hair and bright blue eyes, with a smile that was both sweet and sexy as hell. She’d been innocent too, a virgin in every sense of the word. I’d been her first kiss, her first boyfriend, the first and only man to ever be inside her, the only man to marry her, and the father of both her children.
But that was then and this was a different world. Maybe I deserved a girl like that back then, back before I’d become ... whatever the fuck I had become.
She wants you, the voice said.You saw the way she was looking at you.
She’s an idiot,I growled, watching as a long lock of my hair tumbled down my chest and broke apart in my lap.And insane. Remember? She smears her own shit on herself.
She’s a survivor,the voice argued.And one who doesn’t put her own needs before others’.
You’re an idiot,I spat back.
The voice laughed long and hard.Yes, you are.
“Done,” Autumn said, moving around to my front and peering down at me. A small smile lifted her lips, a genuine look of amusement transforming her features. “It looks horrible,” she said, choking back laughter.
