Chapter Thirty-Four
Maya
I feel so dirty, not the normal kind of dirt that washes away in a shower, but a deep routed feeling like I’ve been tainted. I have been stood under the shower head for the past twenty minutes willing this sensation to go away. The once pink stained water from the mixture of mine and Jake’s blood now clear and clean.
I don’t feel clean though. I have scrubbed every inch of my skin to the point it hurts and now I can’t bare to move from the position I’m in, I’m physically and emotionally drained.
With my head cast downwards, I stare at the water streaming off the strands of my hair, completely lost in thought at what could have happened in that room. What if Tommy hadn’t of burst in when he did? How much longer would it have been before he had defiled me? Is it my fault for letting him touch me?
Deep down, I know that it isn’t. That it washim manipulating me into thinking he was Tommy. How long was he watching us for? He must have had this planned all along. I just don’t get how no one has managed to catch him, I’m scared over how far he is willing to go to get what he wants.
I must have done some dodgy shit in a past life to have been dealt the hand I have. Will I never be allowed true happiness? I had a taste of it yesterday, with Tommy and my friends all together just enjoying the day. It was nice and easy, the way I assume life aught to be.
I hate Jake so much for what he’s doing to me, to us. I’ve missed out on so much already with Tommy, I just want our life to begin. It seems like we hit every red light on the road trying to get to our destination of being together.
“Knock knock,” I hear someone say from the doorway, but I’m so lost in my turbulent thoughts I don’t register who it is.
After a few minutes, the curtain to the shower opens making me startle before a very naked Tommy steps inside. He looks like a god, stood there taking me in with his chiselled chest, muscular calves and very beautiful dick.
“Can I join you?” He asks, taking a tentative step towards me. I nod faintly in reply, the energy to form words evading me. He scans me, assessing my whole body as if he’s checking for damage but the most damaged part of me right now is my mind.
The space we’re in is small, being the tiny en suite attached to my hospital room. The walls and floor lined with pale blue tiles with a matching-coloured shower curtain.
“Turn around,” He murmurs.
I do so unhurriedly, the energy from me non-existent. He closes the space behind me, the usually erect member I’m accustomed to soft against my lower back. He holds me to him as both of us stand under the cascading water. The gentleness he uses to touch me brings tears to my eyes.
How did I ever get so lucky to find a man like him?
“I love you,” I whisper. Needing him to know how much this means to me.
“And I love you, Maya,” he says firmly, and he holds me a little tighter.
A few minutes pass before he releases me, the cold of his absence makes me shiver. I hear the sound of a bottle opening before he pushes my hair over my shoulder and squeezes a generous amount of soap onto my back. His thick strong fingers massage me in big circular motions up my neck and all the way down to the top on my arse before he moves onto my legs, then arms, then stomach.
The feeling he’s eliciting is both sensual and calming. I know he isn’t going to take it any further than this but this is enough, his closeness and love showering my whole body and penetrating my soul. I didn’t think I could lovehim anymore but he always seems to prove me wrong. Everything about this man is like a breathe of fresh air.
When he is finished, he steps out of the shower and opens a towel wide for me to step into.
“Come on, Dr Smyth has popped in to see you. Let’s get you dry and ready for when he comes back,” He says as he gets himself dressed again.
A few minutes later we’re back in my room, Tommy lay on the bed with me leaning into him. He draws slow circles on my back, knowing that I’m not fully functioning right now.
“Tommy? There was a man at the bar who helped me, do you know who he was?” I ask needing to know. He acted as though he knew exactly who I was, but I had never seen him before.
“He’s part of the security team, I never would have left you if I didn’t think you were in safe hands,” He promises,
I can’t quite figure out if I’m happy about that or not. I hate not knowing who all these people are looking out for me and yet, I’m incredibly grateful at the same time too. I guess tonight has proved just how much I need them there.
“Do we know how Gracie is now?” I ask as I worry my bottom lip. Everything is such a mess, even more of my friends are in danger now, all because of me. Maybe I should leave for a while, just get away from everyone and everything. It’sthe only way I can think of to keep them all safe.
“She’s doing fine other than a banging headache. The girls are all with her.” I nod at what he tells me, grateful she isn’t alone.
“When can we go to her? I need to see her with my own eyes, you know?” I ask.
“Hopefully as soon as the doc has been in,” he replies.
“Okay. Tommy?”
