Chapter Twenty-Four
Maya
What a long fucking day that was, I never thought they’d go to sleep. First waking up at Tommy’s place, then getting dragged all around Bewdley to pick up more clothes and shit for the girls, ending by me having to entertain them all night. I don’t think I’ve been so happy to get in bed.
The cabin is quiet now that they’re all asleep. Fallon’s silent breathing the only thing reminding me I’m not alone. I love them for it though, how lucky am I that they are willing to uproot their own lives for a while to help me stay safe, and sane.
Being alone isn’t an option for me at the minute, but I would love some alone time. I can’t stop thinking about Tommy and his offer to stay at his. Should I do it? How can I feel such a connection to a man I have literally only known for a day? But, what he said to me keeps playing onrepeat in my head.
I can always tell you, but only when you’re ready.
I think I’m at that point. I need to know more now, I need to know what this gaping hole inside of me is from and what it is that I’m missing. I don’t understand how I can miss someone so much, yet have no idea who they could be. That boy from my dreams, who would look after me and help me escape always comes to mind. Why can’t I see his face?
These are the things that keep me up at night. No matter how tired I am, my mind won’t succumb to sleep.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will find out about my past, otherwise I won’t be able to move on with my future.
“Maya, I’m really happy with your progress. How are you feeling in yourself?” Dr Smyth asks. I’m at my monthly check up in his clinic. He is such a likeable man, you can tell this isn’t just a job for him. He truly cares about his patients.
“Well, I was hoping you would give me your opinion on something. I know its not exactly what you specialise in, but I think I’m ready to find out more about my life before the accident.”
“Honestly Maya, I think that would be great. You’ve come such a long way since then, maybe finding out more about your past will help you remember some of it,” He says with such a kindtone. “Why don’t you start off small. Visit places that your friends recommend that meant a lot to you? Is there anything that seem familiar already?”
“I remember things about my cabin, like the time when the boiler packed in or how I used to plant the flowers in my garden in a certain way. I think it’s more people that I struggle with,” I thread my fingers together, and watch as I do it. Trying to not get upset over it. “It’s getting to me a bit now, like I’m missing something but can’t explain what it is.”
Dr Smyth leans forward, arms resting on the desk between us.
“I can’t begin to imagine the turmoil this must cause you. My only recommendation would be to go slow, take your time and don’t overwhelm yourself all at once.”
We chat back and forth for a few more minutes, planning my next appointment to see him.
“So Maya, I will see you in three months time. but please come back and see me if you need me.” He says as he shakes my hand.
“Thanks, you have been great through all of this,” I raise my hands signalling from my head to my toes, smile at my dramatics.
“Anytime.”
I leave the hospital feeling more hopeful than I did this morning, when I see a familiar face in the car park. Jack is heading in my direction, with asmile taking over his face.
“Hi gorgeous, fancy seeing you here. Everything okay?” he asks, giving me a once over, checking for injuries.
“Yes, I’m absolutely fine.” I smile. “I’ve just had my monthly check up with the doctor who’s been looking after me. How come you’re here? Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yeah all good, I’m just visiting a friend,” He says dismissively. “Hey, I was wondering when you’d like to go out again. Maybe an actual date this time?” God, his smile takes over his face making him even more attractive. I know I should say yes, but there’s something at the back of my mind still not sitting right with me about him.
He must sense the indecision in me as his smile drops slightly. Something in his eyes betraying the façade he’s trying to keep up. Is he angry with me?
“I had a lovely time with you, but I don’t think I’m fully ready to start dating. I need to sort out the mess in my head before I get involved with anyone. I hope you understand,” I try to soften the blow, but to be honest, he’s freaking me out a bit now. Why would he be so persistent when I’m clearly saying no, multiple times.
“Are you seeing someone else? Is that what this is? I’m not good enough for you?” He snarls at me, sending shivers up my arms.
Woah, what the fuck is thatabout. Fear grips me, churning my stomach and making my muscles tense. What a fucking weirdo. I wish I could just say, yes actually, I am. The problem though, is that I don’t know if tonight with Tommy is classed as a date or not.
“Listen, I’m gonna go. I have told you how I feel, and you chose to make up your own scenario,” I say before turning my back and heading in the opposite direction. I don’t even head in the direction of my car, just anywhere to escape this situation.
I only make it two steps before he grabs my arm tightly, swinging me back towards him. His fingers digging into my bicep, hard enough to leave a bruise.
