I nodded and stood. Haizley could talk about forgiveness until the cows came home, but there was no forgiveness for me. Jack and Sam said they forgave me, but how did you forgive what I’d done?
I couldn’t forgive my father; hell, I couldn’t forgive my mother, and I fucking loved that woman. She was my whole world, but she wouldn’t get help. Even after I became an adult, I offered every day to get her out, and she refused.
What I did to Sam had never happened before, and it never happened again. But it happened once, and once was enough for me to know that trusting me was a mistake.
Kat and Frankie were safer without me in their lives.
Chapter Six
Katrina
“MOM, LET’S GO!” Frankie shouted from outside. I rolled my eyes and laced up my boots. That one day at the diner had created a whirlwind of activity.
We’d exchanged numbers with Rhoda before we left, and for the past five days, Frankie had spoken with Rhoda’s sister, Cami, on the phone. Every night I listened to my daughter talk animatedly, giggling over secrets she shared with her new friend, a girl she hadn’t even laid eyes on yet.
She was starving for friendship, and I was the one who was killing her.
“Aren’t you coming?” I asked Slyce, who hadn’t moved from her spot on the couch.
“Nope.”
My feet stumbled at her answer. “What do you mean,nope? What the hell am I supposed to do while those two are eating?”
“Talk to someone else,” she answered without looking up from the television.
“MOOOOM!” Frankie screamed from outside.
I glanced at the door, then back to Slyce. “I can’t sit there alone.”
“Kat, you’re thirty-four years old; you can talk to strangers.”
“Talking to strangers is how my life goes to shit,” I muttered.
Slyce sighed and muted the television. “I can’t stay here forever. I have other assignments. But I can’t leave until I know you and Frankie are settled.”
“Is that what the person who hired you said?” She still hadn’t given me anything regarding who had been looking for us, or why.
“Kat,” Slyce warned.
I flipped my hand in the air. “Whatever.” I shoved the front door open harder than I meant to, and it slammed against the side of the house. Now there was a hole in the siding of a house that wasn’t mine.
“Mom, hurry up!” Frankie hollered again.
A heavy sigh slipped through the air as I shook my head at the damage. It was a problem for another day. I jogged down the steps and climbed into the car Slyce had provided for us. She wouldn’t tell me where it came from, only that this was what her MC did. They helped abused women and children get back on their feet.
“We’re going to be late,” Frankie whined as she fidgeted in her seat. She was excited to meet her new friend, reminding me again how much I had failed her.
“We have ten minutes, and it only takes three to get there,” I said with a chuckle as I backed out of the driveway. The car wasn’t much to look at, but it was solid and reliable.
It was how I’d seen myself at one point. Solid and reliable, but not much to look at. Looking back, I could see the red flags I had missed with Richard. The way he wanted me to shave my pubic hair, wear plaids and polka dots as much as possible.
The only plaid I wore these days was the thick flannel shirt that was my jacket. And I stopped waxing. I mean I didn’t have a forest, ’cause no one wanted that, but I wasn’t hairless anymore.
Clay didn’t care about the hair between my legs, and in hindsight, I realized that was one of the reasons I’d moved so fast with him. Frankie had been safe with him. I had been safe with him.
At least I’d thought so, until he wouldn’t let us leave. Until he kept us locked up at the clubhouse. He called itsafety. It was just another prison.
“Are you listening?”
