14
Chapter Fourteen
Carol Ann was rippedfrom my arms, my life, and my heart way too early. Now, reading these words, I can’t help but think about all the ways my life has been forever changed in the blink of an eye. I mourned her death, I blamed myself, I questioned my Dom abilities–but I was robbed of the time to mourn my unborn child.
My paternal rights were denied in every imaginable way. I would never see that baby born, teach it the things only a father can, and watch it grow every single day. My baby that Carol Ann carried has never been recognized, named, or even memorialized in death.Robbed–of all the things that can never be and all the things that should have been.
The rage hits me like a freight train and my sole purpose has become killingHarry Dick-man. A terrible and violent death is too good for him, but that’s what he’ll receive nonetheless. Without a clue as to where he is hiding, I bolt up the stairs to retrieve my gun.
When I reach the top of the landing, I have a sudden need to retrieve the first page of the letter from Carol Ann. It was one of the things I saved from the house fire–one of the few personal items that survived. After I double-check that the handwriting and the paper match, I unlock the secret safe and grab my Glock .45 and my shoulder holster.
He is dead. He just doesn’t know it yet and he won’t know I’m there until I want him to know.
Bounding back down the stairs with my possessions in hand, I lay them down on the table, ready to double check the clip before I head out to find him. I’ve zoned everything else out in my red haze of fury. I’m barely cognizant of Tucker trying to talk me out of what he knows I’m planning. After leveling him with mydon’t-fuck-with-mestare and response, I continue with my plan.
Until I hear a small voice calling from behind me.
Sophia.
The shock of that page completely floored me and I had thought of nothing else until she spoke. Her voice pulled me back from the deep pits of the revenge that I was plotting. Looking at her now, the shame fills me at how quickly I changed from the man who just brought her home from the doctor’s office to the man who forgot everyone and everything else in his life.
Doctor’s office.
My eyes drop to her midsection and I think about the baby that Sophia now carries.My baby, my blood, my life. My need for vengeance is completed deflated now and all I want to do is hold Sophia in my arms. An unconscious signal sent from my brain makes my feet move toward Sophia, the exact direction my heart naturally gravitates to anyway. But she moves backward, away from me, and shakes her head‘no.’
She knows and I’ve hurt her terribly, but she stands proud and demands to know what I’m still gripping in my hand. The doctor has just said she’s lost too much weight. We had to pick up prescription medication to help her even eat to keep herself and the baby nourished. The last thing I want to do is add to her stress by telling her anything about this.
But I can’t lie to her.
“It’s the second page of Carol Ann’s letter to me. The page that has been missing,” I painfully admit.
The color drains from her face and she stands transfixed. Raking my hand through my hair, I blow out a frustrated huff of breath. Seeing my reaction to this letter cut her deeply, I know this without a doubt. It will appear to her that my feelings for Carol Ann are ruling me and that my feelings for her are inferior. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
“Sophia, are you feeling sick? Do you need your medicine?” I purposely keep my voice gentle.
Her chin begins to quiver but she’s fighting the tears with every ounce of pride she has in her. Taking a deep, calming breath, her countenance changes and her features become hard. I can see her shields going up to protect herself from further pain. What she doesn’t understand is I’ll do whatever she needs me to just to keep that pain from her.
Her next question hits me in the chest like a twenty-pound sledgehammer.
“Why would Harrison have that page of her letter if it was in your condo when she died?”
The breath has been knocked out of my lungs and my mind spins with various scenarios, but none of them are plausible. In my shock of just now learning that Carol Ann was pregnant, and in my haste to exact revenge, my only consideration was that Harrison kept this from me for the past two years. The interrogatives of the details didn’t even occur to me–that’s how far gone I was in my own world.
The distant sound of a chair scraping against the floor comes from behind me, but there’s no connection between it and my brain. All the questions swirling in my head are so loud, it’s as if there are fifty people talking at once all around me. Strong hands grip my shoulders, push me downward, and my legs obey. My eyes are grounded to Sophia’s but I can’t even respond intelligently.
“Dominic, let me have that,” Tucker says as he pulls the letter from my hand.
Snapping out of my stupor, I realize Sophia has asked the million-dollar question.Exactly how did Harrison get that page?Carol Ann hid it in our apartment. Granted, it was in a spot she knew I would find it, but that was all part of our game.
“I don’t know how he got it, Sophia. But I need to find out.”
“What does it say?” She narrows her eyes and dares me to lie to her.
“You can read it, I won’t keep it from you. But I’d rather you didn’t for a few more weeks, until we’re well past the first trimester.” I could be more forceful by outright saying she can’t read it, but that would cause her just as much doubt and anxiety. “I’m asking you to please wait, Sophia.”
Her eyes fill with tears but she blinks them back, swallows the heart I know that is in her throat, and extends her hand toward me, palm up. Her hand is shaking, without a doubt scared to read it, but equally scared to not read it.
“Guys, can you give us a minute?” I ask Shadow and Tucker as I stand and pick up the letter. Their reply is to leave the house completely. Knowing Tucker, they are just waiting on the front porch to give us a little privacy.
