“What is it?” Dominic asks.
Tucker responds without looking up, “Something you need to see for yourself, Dominic.”
When Tucker uses his name, it’s always bad. It’s always something that will be more than upsetting. This is his way of establishing they’re on the same team and that Dominic doesn’t have to face the problem alone. Dread and alarm fill me until I feel the anxiety swelling in my throat. Even Shadow has a concerned look on his face and that is definitely not normal.
“Show me,” Dominic replies stoically.
“Maybe you should have a seat first, Dominic,” Shadow suggests, but holds out a piece of paper anyway.
I suddenly can’t breathe. My brain and muscles seem to have forgotten how to draw in oxygen. My feet are rooted to my spot on the floor, my heart is pounding in my chest, and the blood is roaring in ears. Opening my mouth to speak, I can’t form the words. I recognize that paper.How can this be?
Dominic snatches the paper from Shadow’s hand but doesn’t take a seat. I think he may be somewhat insulted at the suggestion that he would need to take this siting down. For several long minutes, Dominic is eerily silent. I’m not sure he’s breathing either. Shadow and Tucker keep their eyes trained on Dominic, both unable to hide their concern in their normally indifferent expression.
Dominic’s voice is low, controlled, and downright scary when he asks, “Where did this come from?”
Tucker meets Dominic’s stare and, with a calmness that betrays his facial expression, he drops a nuclear bomb. “I paid a visit to Harrison’s house today. This was in a file with your name on it.”
Without another word, Dominic’s confident, determined stride carries him up the stairs and into one of the spare bedrooms. After several minutes, he returns to the kitchen and is holding a second paper, his gun shoulder holster, and his Glock .45. He lays them on the table as he adjusts the holster and pulls it over his head before securing it in place.
“Boss, let us handle this,” Tucker says soothingly, trying to reason with a very determined dominant man. “It’s best that you stay out of it for now.”
No one seems to remember that I’m here. My hand found the countertop and I’m gripping it so tightly I’m sure there will be finger indentions in it. Curiosity is killing me. I want to ask what’s on the paper, but I don’t want to at the same time. Looking at it, I instinctively know what it is but not what it says. The only thing I know for sure is that one paper is about to change my life.
“Tucker, if you think I’m not going to kill that son of a bitch, you’re fucking crazy,” Dom growls.
“What is it?” I finally manage to speak, my voice meek and unsure, conveying exactly how I feel right now. Three heads whirl in my direction but my eyes are only trained on one of them. Dominic looks slightly confused for a second, as if he’s questioning why I’m here, then his eyes change with realization.
“Sophia,” he says softly, his voice a stark contrast from the tone he just used with Tucker. He’s searching for the words to say. He doesn’t know how to tell me without hurting me. His eyes stray to my stomach and my hand quickly draws up to protect our baby. He drops his eyes to the floor just in front of me and I feel my heart break because he won’t look at me–he can’t look at me.
“What is it?” I ask more forcefully, drawing my shoulders up to stand tall. I’m no one’s doormat. I willingly submit to Dominic because he’s earned my trust, he takes care of me, and he shows me he loves me. After the events of the last several minutes, I’m not feeling real submissive and it doesn’t appear that I’m his first priority.
Dominic takes a step toward me and I take a step backward while slowly shaking my head back and forth. I will not be placated with“trust me”or“everything’s okay”this time. Dominic’s head drops to the paper still held in his hand. He takes a deep breath and fully exhales it, clearly still torn on what to say. In my peripheral, I can see Shadow and Tucker looking at me with a mixture of compassion and pity.
“It’s the second page of Carol Ann’s letter to me. The page that has been missing,” Dominic replies solemnly.
My heart ceases to pump in my chest.
Dominic
Sir,
I can’t believe we have been together for a whole year. So much has happened in our short time together. I often feel that I’ve brought more sadness than happiness to your life. You have brought me nothing but happiness and I want you to always remember that. No matter what storms have hit, you have been my steadfast rock in the turbulent seas.
Never doubt the good you’ve done for me. Never doubt my appreciation for you. And never doubt my love for you. I’m paralyzed at the thought of losing you and I know I could never live without you. Through all of my problems, it’s been your love that has pulled me through. I love you, My Sir, and there’s nothing about our life together that I regret. I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused for you.
I memorized those words and can recite them backwards in my sleep. The rest of the letter, the page that Tucker just handed me, is now seared into my memory. The conclusion of Carol Ann’s thoughts on the worst fucking day of my life will haunt my dreams, interrupt my sleep, and forever be cursed by the‘what-if’s’.
What if I had just stayed home that day?
What if I had made it home earlier?
What if….
I’m frozen in time as I read her words. Picturing her in my mind, I can see her face as she writes each line. She’s sitting at the desk, her left arm at a ninety-degree angle as her hand supports her head. The right side of her lip is between her teeth as she concentrates on her wording. She lives in these words and I can feel her emotions bubbling up and spilling over onto the page.
Through all of our troubles and trials, one thing has remained constant: our love. It has never waxed or waned. Not when my parents objected to us not being married before living together. Not when my brother tried to shame us for our choices. Not even when my fear of leaving the house put a damper on socializing or traveling.
I made a new resolution today and, with you, I will keep it tomorrow. Enough of my life has been lived in fear and shame. No more. You’ve asked me to go with you on business trips before but I wasn’t able to go. I want to go with you on your next trip. I want to spend every minute with you that I possibly can. Tomorrow, I want you to take me shopping for new clothes.
Oh, and some of them will have to be maternity clothes.
With all the love in my heart –
Carol Ann
(P.S. I didn’t really drink the champagne.)
