13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ANDI
March
It’s beenfour weeks since the huge fight Luke and I had on the phone. While I stood on the sidewalk outside a very popular nightclub in Washington, DC. Right after Travis drunkenly yelled that he wanted to dirty dance more.
I tried to explain to Luke that there was really nothing to it. There were about twelve of us who went to the salsa bar in Miami, and we invented a new dance—line dirty salsa dancing. We were all pretty tipsy, and it seemed funny at the time. Travis had a lot to drink that night in DC, and he wanted to do it again.
We literally all stood in a line, as in line dancing, but spiced it up with dirty salsa dancing. It actually looked really funny grinding and swaying our hips with no partner to grind back. That’s not how it sounded when Travis yelled it, though.
Luke eventually listened to me and we made up, but I can still feel the strain in our relationship. The break in our tour schedule over Valentine’s was the worst. Everyone split up, going to the four corners of the earth to go be with their loved ones. I took a flight home to Atlanta and sat in the house alone instead of going to Vegas to see Luke.
Travis sent me a text message on Valentine’s Day that simply read:Happy VD from your secret admirer—lol!
He saidsecret admirerbecause I already knew exactly whom the text was from. VD, for Valentine’s Day, but we’d also joked about that on the bus. I told Kale that VD was never a thoughtful gift for Valentine’s Day. His face turned bright red from embarrassment when he asked why I thought he, out of everyone, needed to hear that.
We’re back on the bus now after finishing tonight’s concert in Chicago, headed to St. Louis for our next one. The mood is a little more somber, a little more laid-back since they didn’t win the Grammys they were nominated for. Just the recognition of their work is impressive, but it’s still a disappointment to not actually win.
While in Chicago, we were close to a park with swings, a merry-go-round, slides, and other kids’ playground equipment. Early in the day before the show, I went over to the park to have some time alone. This distance I feel from Luke is more than just the miles between us. My heart feels so heavy and broken, and I don’t know how to fix it.
Our schedules are so different, and we’ve missed a lot of calls and texts from each other because of it. It’s hard to carry on a conversation when it takes days to complete it. The uncertainties bother me all the time. But they hit me especially hard when I had to go back on the road without seeing him once over my break. During the holiday created just for romance.
As I sat on the small, metal merry-go-round, the questions flew through my mind at the speed of light.
Do I leave the tour to go see him and reconnect with him?
Should I quit the tour completely and be there for him?
Is this the life and the career I want—traveling, singing, and talking to the fans?
Is it too late for Luke and me to fix this?
Should we stay together or take a break while we’re pursuing different goals?
I was sitting with my feet planted on the ground, my back propped against the metal bar, and letting my feet sway me left and right. I didn’t even see or hear Travis approach me until he sat down beside me.
“You’re deep in thought,” he said, nudging my shoulder with his.
“Just enjoying some quiet time before the show tonight,” I replied with a small smile.
“I miss being a kid. Recess was always my favorite time of the day in school, but I never realized how rare those times of just free play would be when I grew up,” he mused.
I nodded, understanding exactly what he meant. Katelyn plans every moment of his day. I was even surprised he was able to sneak away to sit on the playground with me for a few minutes.
“You must have locked Katelyn in the bathroom,” I joked.
“Why do you say that?” he looked at me, confused. His brows were drawn down, a slight smile played on his face, and his hazel eyes danced with laughter.
“Because you’re out here. If she’s not asleep or in the bathroom, you wouldn’t have a second to yourself.”
His smiled widened and he stuck his hand into his front pocket. After a couple of seconds of digging, he pulled out a key. “You’ve thought about doing it, too,” he accused me.
“If I’d known you had a key, I would’ve locked her in there long before now!” I laughed so hard that my body nearly folded in two, leaning toward Travis. Bringing my hand up to my face, I wiped away the tears of laughter from just picturing Katelyn pounding on the locked door.
That visual brought me out of my funk somewhat and held me over until we finished the show. Katelyn was so pissed off when she finally got out of the bathroom. She was screaming like a banshee and accusing everyone of doing it. When she stomped off the bus, no doubt looking to blame me for it, she stopped cold in her tracks when she finally spotted Travis and me on the playground together.
