“I…what? You said you were mine…you already gave yourself to me.” Asher furrowed his brow, looking confused again, his hand stilling on his shirt.
“I need you to listen to me,” Levi began, taking a step back from the desk to give himself a little more distance.This line of thought might work... “You don’t get oneyesfor everything forever. Every time, I get to choose.”
“Choose.” Asher said it like a word in a language he was sounding out.
“Yes. Choose. I’m allowed to change my mind—”
“About loving me?” Asher stepped forward, his eyes wide as his face shifted from confusion to devastation. He placed his hands on the desk, hanging his head as a visible shudder ran through him. “You changed your mind about loving me?”
No. God dammit.
“Asher, that’s not what I meant. I’m talking about sex, okay? Just sex,” Levi said quickly, ignoring the burning in his cheeks as he did. This was a fucking mortifying conversation to have whilehe was on an unknown countdown for an alien massacre in a spaceship with the only person he had ever slept with.
Asher’s hands curled into fists on the desk. “No. If you love someone, you don’t keep making them ask. You’d want them all the time.”
“That’s not how—”
“You’re supposed to say yes.” The crease between his eyebrows deepened with the earnest focus of someone trying to learn the rules of a game he’s never played. “Every time.”
“Asher, listen—”
“You said you were mine,” Asher reminded him, his eyes wide. “You said you were mine, and even if you don’t have enough practice saying it, I know you love me. People who love each other say yes.”
“That’s not how it works.” Levi felt his heel hit the wall behind him and dropped his hand to his side, feeling for the gun he’d placed in his pocket. It was still there.
The room was still. Levi looked at Asher— at the confusion and the pout on his face that was somehow making him feel worse than the slaps did. Asher shook his head, looking at the desk, then at Levi, then back at the desk.
Oh no.
Asher flattened his fists on it and vaulted over.
Levi’s hand went to his pocket, his fingers finding the grip of the gun, and he had it out in the space between them by the time Asher’s boots hit the floor. It wasn’t aimed right, Levi knew, and he hadn’t gotten his finger on the trigger or checked for a safety…but Asher was too out of control. They couldn’t play the game like this.
Asher barely even glanced at the gun, his eyes locked on Levi’s face as he closed his hand over the barrel and pulled. Levi’s grip opened. His fingers gave up the gun like they’d been waiting to, and the letting go was its own kind of answer.
Why did I let go? I didn’t even try. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Asher turned the weapon over and clicked something on the side like he did with the rifle, lighting up a small display, then pressed the barrel to Levi’s temple. “This is why you took this? Not for the creatures, but to protect yourself from me?” He grabbed the zipper of Levi’s jumpsuit and pulled it down to his waist in one smooth motion.
Levi swallowed hard. “Asher, stop.”
“I don’t want to scare you.” His fingers hooked the jumpsuit off Levi’s shoulders, yanking it off of each arm and letting the material pool at his waist. “I want to show you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”
“You’re holding a gun to my head.”
“I know.” Asher’s knuckles grazed Levi’s side through the undershirt — light, tracing the shape of his ribs — and goosebumps rose on Levi’s arms. “Is it working?”
“Iswhatworking?”
“Are you paying attention?” Asher’s hand slid up his undershirt, his palm pressed flat against Levi’s stomach as the muscles contracted under his touch. Levi held his breath as Asher’s teeth grazed his Adam’s apple. The barrel of the gun pressed harder against his temple and Asher’s hand slipped lower, popping the release on his belt buckle before shoving it inside his jumpsuit and between his legs. “Because I really fucking need you to pay attention.”
Levi bit his lip as Asher stroked him through his boxers.It’s not the time. Don’t respond. Don’t respond.It was too late, though. He was already hard in Asher’s grip and now just trying to hang on to what little dignity he had left.
The gun left his temple.
For one second — less, half a second — Levi’s body believed it was over. His shoulders dropped, relief arriving like a reflex, automatic and total.
Then the barrel was on his throat.
