I had gone about this all wrong. If Indy showed up now, and saw how I had been treating his wife, he would kick my ass, and I would let him.
“Fuck,” I grumble as I stand up. I have to go find her and apologize.
I stalk in the direction she went, keeping my eyes open for her. After twenty minutes, I’ve found no sign of her and start to worry. She wouldn’t walk into the desert, would she? Even if she was really upset, she must know she can’t survive out there, she already got lost once.
But as I move through my oasis towards the southern side, I hear the distinct noise of her crying.Fuck, I really am a selfish asshole.
I see the back of her peeking out from the base of a palm at the very edge of the tree line facing the desert. I can see her body shaking as she buries her face in her hands. I watch her for a moment, feeling like the asshole I am, not sure what to say or do.
After a minute, I take a seat on the ground beside her, stretching my legs out in front of me as I lean back on my hands and look out at the desert. I hear her let out a small gasp of surprise, but she doesn’t move. She tries to wipe her face, but I don’t look at her.I can’t.Seeing her so upset because of me, it’s not something I’m prepared to feel.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. She doesn’t say anything, and I don’t blame her. I take a deep breath before I continue. “First, I need you to know I don’t believe any of the things I said to you.”
“Then why did you say them? You must believe them on some level, they came from somewhere, Apollo,” she says angrily.
“No, that’s the thing, the things I said, they weren’t about you. You were right, I don’t even know you. They were about someone I knew a long time ago. I haven’t been around a woman in a long time and I guess I unfairly judged you based on my past.”
“You were talking about Caroline,” she states, making me turn my face to her in surprise. She looks at me with red eyes.She looks exhausted. I search her gaze for judgment. If she knew about Caroline… How much did she know?
She seems to understand my questioning look as she nods, turning her gaze back to the desert. “Yeah, he told me about her.”
When she doesn’t elaborate, I find myself asking, “What did he tell you?”
She shrugs. “He didn’t go into detail, but told me how you all met, got along, thought you could build a life together.” She turns her face back to me and I see her features soften. “How you used your magic to save her horses and their families’ livelihood, and how she turned on you.” Her face turns angry. Is she thinking about my magic? “When Indy told me the story, I felt so angry for you.”
“For me?” I ask in surprise.
She nods, continuing. “To think she could treat you like that, when you should have been praised as a hero…”Hero?I stare at her in shock. “But I think Indy is glad that she showed her true colors before you guys committed to her. He would choose you over her, you know?”
I nod. I did know, that’s why I left. She seems to read my mind as she whispers, “But you already knew that. It’s why you’re out here, isn’t it? You feel like you’re a burden to him.” I stare at her as I grind my jaw in frustration.
“Not a burden.” I correct her. “I was holding him back.”
“He doesn’t think so, and neither do I. He needs you, Apollo. You’re his twin, his other half. I know you feel his absence every day.”
I look down at her as I whisper, “How can you know that?”
“I feel it too, I had a twin brother. He died a long time ago, and I miss him every day.” I stare at her in surprise. She’s a twin too? I couldn’t imagine the pain of losing Indy completely.
“I’m sorry you lost him.”
“Thanks,” she whispers, looking away.
She has revealed so much in the past hour, I’m not even sure which part to focus on. I have so many more questions for her. Does she not hate magic? How did her twin die? What was she doing in the desert? Would she ever forgive me?
But as I go to ask her one of those important questions, I surprise myself by asking something completely different. “Will you sleep in my bed tonight?”
She turns to me with her eyebrows raised in surprise, trying to read my face. I feel a little desperate, and the thought of her sleeping on the ground again kills me.
“I won’t sleep there while you sleep on the ground.”
I nod. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes, okay, we’ll both sleep in the bed, it’s big enough for two.”
She searches my face for a minute before she answers, “If you’re sure…”
