Well, when she puts it like that…
Ten minutes later, I listened to a phone ringing in my ear.
“Yo.”
Huh. “Pres?”
“Yeah, man. How’s things? You guys need anything?” See? He made it so easy.
“Yeah.Retribution.”
“FUCK yeah! Let’s do this.”
And apparentlythat’show easily I order a person’s death.
Gloria
Ifell asleep infront of the TV, and when I woke up, it was to the smell of something delicious, and a soft voice calling to me.
Nate waved a plate of something under my nose and, as soon as I realised what it was, the word ‘yes’ slipped from my lips, and I sat up, reaching for the plate.
“Whoa, so apparently that’s the best way to wake you up,” he said with a grin, sitting a few seats away from me with his own plate. He made the best pasta dishes, and I hadn’t had one in years. The smell instantly took me back to days when we’d hang out from the moment we woke, ‘til we fell asleep on the same damn sofa, a movie still running, and both of us stuffed with pasta and beers.
“I haven’t had this in forever,” I said quietly, twirling the fork in the spaghetti, and staring at it for a second, forcing myself to ignore calories, or the fact that it was carbs, and just eat it.
“I haven’t changed the recipe,” he said with a grin, pointing to the table. There on the table were two dishes. One had the parmesan and the other? Crispy bacon pieces. God yes.
I added a liberal serving of each and moaned with pleasure as I tasted the first bite. He’d gone rogue with his recipes early on, and I’d tried the disasters and the triumphs. This one was definitely my favourite of all.
“It’s really good. Those bacon bits are gold.”
He grinned at me again. “You always did love those.” I had. I’d adored them. I still did, so why did I let one person convince me otherwise?
“Did I overeat back then too?” I asked, genuinely wondering if my own view of myself had been as dysfunctional back then as it had been the last few years.
Nate froze, his fork halfway to his mouth.
“Did you what?” He lowered the fork and set his food aside, resting his hands on his knees, but I could see how hard he was gripping them.
“Babe, is that something he told you? No. God no. You were always beautiful as you were. Always perfect. Whatever he told you, he lied. That’s why you’re so thin, and refusing food. He’s fucking still in your head.”
My mouthful tasted like chalk as I swallowed it, my enjoyment of my food gone, tainted once more by the memory of a man I should have said no to that first time he asked me out. I’d been so flattered that someone so hot would be interested in me, especially once I realised I’d been overweight and unattractive to so many.
“Glory, you were, and are, perfect. He was wrong. He lied because he’s an asshole.”
I set the plate down, my stomach growling with frustration because, guess what? It was finally getting to eat, and I was stopping yet again. Why was I doing that? Why couldn’t I just keep eating. It felt like a sin, it felt like I was breaking a rule that I didn’t even have to live by anymore.
“You’re done?” Nate looked devastated as he stared at my discarded plate.
“Not… not hungry anymore,” I whispered, feeling the weight of his disappointment piling on top of everything else. I didn’t have capacity for any more pressure on me right now.
“Babe…”
“Please don’t. I’m trying, Nate. I’m… I have years worth of his bullshit in me, and I don’t know how to get it out.”
He moved to the seat beside me, finally not distancing himself but being close enough to touch. Was it because he was afraid of overwhelming me, or was he disgusted by who I’d become? Ashamed? Disappointed? Appalled?
“I’m not trying to add to your burden, babe. I’m here to help. If you want to eat a little at a time ‘til you feel like more, we’ll do that. You just tell me the foods you want to eat, and I’ll get them or make them. My skills are… well, not great, but not terrible.”
