"Strike one for me." I punch the air.
But the words are empty because a childish fight isn't what I wanted.
I wanted something far worse.
Connection.
The thing Alex gave me, and it seemed Enzo was doing, too.
But with Alex and Enzo being one and the same, my fantasy of a threesome with them isn't something he shares, and it makes me...
It makes me feel like a freak.
The smell of the food no longer teases. It just turns my stomach leaden.
One thing I wanted was connection, a way in. Because no matter what, there are feelings in me for Alex. And for Enzo.
Even knowing they're the same person, those feelings are still there.
Maybe stronger, maybe the same, I don't know.
But those feelings live and breathe, and I don't know what to do about it.
Because I don't think they're going away anytime soon.
Or at all.
But the betrayal and pain inside from his lies and the things he did aren't going anywhere, either.
To make it worse, Enzo seems to think I should sweep it all away under a rug, he thinks I should stop being childish and grow up.
He hasn't properly owned up to his mistakes and his part in this, which makes it worse.
Sure, he said sorry in the most generic way possible, likehe was apologizing for acting like a Neanderthal and not for what he did.
If he actually apologized for lying to me and meant it, maybe there'd be a chance we could work this out.
Those chances are slim, next to nonexistent.
A light knock on the door rips me away from my thoughts, and the anger bubbles. Of course, he'd knock to rub it in. Of course?—
"Go away! I'm done talking to you, Enzo."
There's a pause, and the door opens.
I jump up from the bed at the sight of Lyndall, who looks fine and in one piece.
She closes the door, and I hurry to her, hugging her close.
My eyes are blurry and hot with tears as she hugs me back just as fiercely. "Oh my God. Lyndall! I'm so sorry, I should never?—"
"You've nothing to be sorry for. I wanted to go with you, to make sure you were okay. I screwed up."
I frown at her, pulling out of the hug to take her pretty face in my hands. "No. I shouldn't have made you come with me."
"My choice. Enzo would never hurt me, and I knew if we were both gone and you were as stubborn as you are, he and Dad would rain hellfire down to get us back."
Getherback, she means. But I don't say it because I'm not here to trash her family.
