"For you."
"Did I say I wanted one?"
He goes still. "No... If you don't want one, I'll let the water out. It's up to you."
And with that, he rises, lets it fill to a certain point, and then he walks out.
I stare after him, unsure what to do.
Did he...?
But...
I shake my head. "Fuck. Good one, Lola."
The water looks good, though, and I don't want to waste it.
Scented steam rises, and I dip my fingers into the water.
"Oh, my God...it's perfect."
I turn, though, and take a few steps, ready to go after him.
I falter at the door.
I want him to stay. I want to be held. It might all be a clash of intents in me, but it's what I want.
And in a way, asking him to stay is me saying the things I can't voice.
I want him. That hasn't changed. That isn't even the problem.
It never has been since this started, since he walked in as my boss at Barwon.
But while I haven't forgiven him, it doesn't mean I'm holding a grudge. I just...can't.
Not completely.
And part of me trying to get past it is due to being pregnant, I guess, and wanting to make it work. But it's not that big a part.
I know that if I can't work this out, I have to walk when this is done. He'll still be in my life if he lets me go. And I think he knows he has to.
It feels different, this talk. Like he sees what's on the line. What he has to lose.
No. I'd like to make it work, but it'll take time and me working through it. Sometimes, him in my bed, sometimes not.
That's when it hits me in the face.
He left to give me space.
He ran the bath to show me he cares.
And he left for the same reasons.
I know Enzo well enough that his kink and fantasies extend to a bath, to bathing me, to being in here. And he's a guy, I think he'd find it hot.
But he's giving me space, letting me know the bath isn't for him to enjoy with me in it. It's just for me.
And I hug that close.
