They make me unsteady when I walk, but the lingerie makes me feel like a sensual goddess.
I sit on the end of my bed in the dark, questioning my life choices. Because...this is insane, right?
But when my phone states five minutes to nine, I dutifully shut my eyes.
Immediately, a thousand thoughts rush in.
Like, have I just invited some kind of killer into my place?
Or a sadist, or...
But slowly, I start to settle.
If he was those things, he would have done it by now. Of course, some serial killers have rituals. My knowledge of them falls short of a few true crime shows and one or two books I read years ago.
The rest comes from Hollywood.
There are rituals, maybe, but when the urge to kill again gets too much is when?—
Why the fuck am I thinking about serial killers?
I don't think he is that. At all.
Something tells me that he is what he says. We met by accident because I decided to text back a wrong number. We never did anything but the slow escalation of flirting.
And I'm no prize.
I'm not even rich anymore.
In fact, who I really am makes me an unemployable pariah.
There is only one person who knows me, and that is Enzo.
This isn't for him, or with him, and that is good.
Even though I find him utterly delicious to gaze at andoccasionally fun to talk to—because that dinner in the office keeps resurfacing—it is not him.
In my head, time ticks, and I go back to Alex.
Eyes closed when he enters means he wants to start with me not knowing him, but he will have to let me look. He will know there might be a slip-up, and I will open my eyes.
With my nerves jumping madly, I'm not sure I will be able to stop it.
I want to see him.
I do.
What time even is it? It could be five past nine or almost ten.
My body is cool from sitting, and my muscles shake a little from holding the ramrod position.
But I want to look good for him.
"Calm down, Lola," I whisper, trying to still myself inside.
But it is hard because with the excitement is turmoil. In my head, it is all hot and sexy, and I am peeking at the human god he is in my imagination, though that human god, if I'm honest, keeps morphing into Enzo. But it is all hot. All sexy. All good times.
It is him pleasuring me and him guiding me to pleasure him, and then we have sex.
