Alex
Lights off. Eyes closed. If I'm late...
Me
What?
Alex
If I turn up...
Me
IF???
Alex
Don't wait up.
And remember your safe word.
Me
Blue banana. Got it.
I'm not saying it. Blue banana for no. I'm not saying no.
Alex?
Don't be an asshole.
Alex????
Nothing.
Not one bubble of dots.
Just silence.
I get up and wander around.
I was going to eat, and then I remember I'm almost naked and hesitate, taking a step toward where my T-shirt is. But I stop.
He has watched me. Maybe he is watching all this.
So, I turn and hastily sweep up my shoes and clothes, smooth out the skirt, hang it up, dump the shoes in the bottom of the closet, and throw the rest of the clothes in the hamper, ready for the laundromat.
Then I search through my shoes for something to wear, but all I have are golden heeled slides I bought on the cheap years ago. They are spiky heeled, cheap, and other than my Mary Janes...
They will have to do.
I want to call Ruby, but I don't because she won't understand. How could she when I don't understand myself? So instead, I shower.
I take my time, shave my legs and underarms. Then, when I'm out and dried off, I moisturize and finally, finally slip into the outfit.
When the time is nowhere close, I make sure the phone is set to vibrate and then turn off the lights.
I slide on the shoes.
