But the little spark of hope in my chest is growing. Kade’s hands brush down my arms, taking my hands and squeezing them before bringing our arms up and crossing them over my chest. I’m caged in. Surrounded by him. And despite all the hurt of today, the pain, it still somehow feels like home.
“Colton came back tonight.” His voice rumbles gently in my ear. “He pointed out a few things that I really fucking needed to hear. And well…I guess I’m going to have to work to keep you.” My breath hitches as he continues. “I am a single-minded bastard, Becca. I will love you so good, you’ll never want to leave me. I don’t want to lose you, so I’ll make damn sure my stupidity won’t ruin this again. I’m so fucking sorry.” His arms tighten as I lean into him, letting my tears spill over.
“Love?” I ask around the lump in my throat. That hope grows a little bigger, but with it comes fear. Fear that he’ll find another reason to leave.
“I love you so fucking much. More than I ever thought possible,” he whispers, rocking me slowly until the torrent of tears turns to a drizzle.
“Do you think you can forgive me?” he asks hesitantly. I inhale and exhale deeply, focusing on the doorknob.
Can I forgive him?
“You keep pushing me away. You’re always looking for the bad, Kade,” I say thickly.
He nods, his jaw rubbing on my temple, but lets me continue.
“I don’t want to be in a relationship like that. I need someone who’s on my side, not someone looking for my weaknesses. I…I can’t always feel like I have to be on guard with you, waiting for you to flip out.”
His breath hitches, and he tries to turn me in his arms. I resist, gripping his hands tighter. I can’t look at him during this conversation. It’s too much.
“I can be that man, Becca. I am on your side. I fucking swear it,“ he says firmly. “I will do whatever I have to do to make this right. To get my head fucking straight.” I hear how sure he is. But I thought he was sure before. I take another deep breath and let it out.
“This won’t happen again, Kade,” I tell him calmly. “If you pull this shit again, if you push me away again, I’m done. I won’t allow you to treat me that way. I don’t care how much I love you. I’ll walk.”
His arms tighten reflexively when I say the word “love.” Does he not know? How could he not? I thought I was giving off those dumb woman-in-love pheromones or something. He curls me into him even tighter, his head pressing against mine. His lips rest at the corner of my mouth.
“You’re the best person I know,” he says raggedly. “If I'm spinning out, I promise I’ll talk to you or to Colton until I have my head on straight. I will never give you a reason to doubt me again. I will never put my shit on you again. I am yours, Becca, completely.”
I let his words settle into my bones. The certainty in them soothing the hurt.
I can’t know what the future holds, and honestly, I’d rather be surprised, but if I have my way, there will be a whole lot of Kade in it.
But I was telling the truth. I won’t allow this to happen again, to become some toxic pattern in our lives. Sometimes leaving is the smartest thing you can do. And I’m a very smart woman.
We stand, pressed together, slowly rocking away the hurt. I turn my head slightly, soaking in the soft kisses Kade’s pressing to my face. His voice finally breaks the peaceful silence. “Why didn’t you tell me you were a fucking ninja?”
I laugh and turn in his hold, wrapping my arms around his waist, meeting his warm eyes. “Ninja? Seriously?”
“You kicked his ass without breaking a sweat, Becca. How did I not know you could do that?”
I shake my head, baffled. “I told you I grew up in a Dojo. That I’m working in one now. I teach self-defense, Kade.” I have to laugh. This man. How can he be so oblivious? I raise up on my tiptoes, lining up our mouths. “Kade,” I breathe, “I’m a fucking ninja.”
I swallow his laughter as I press my mouth to his. His arms are tight bands around me, running up and down my back. His kiss is urgent, fierce. Like nothing I’ve ever felt before. He feels different.
We feel different.
Like the veil that was between us, keeping us apart, has been torn away. This is what I wanted. His passion, his single-minded focus. His love. For the first time, I feel like I can touch him the way I’ve wanted to.
I run my hands up under his shirt, sliding it up as I go. I yank my mouth away from his, and he groans in protest. The groan turns to a moan as I press my mouth to his stomach, traveling up along the line of dark hair, up toward his nipples. He’s powerful with his clothes on.
But underneath?
Well, Thor has nothing on him.
And he’s all mine. I can’t resist licking and biting those dark nipples, and his shudder sends little bolts of lightning to my pussy. His hands fist in my hair while I taste him, adding a bite to the experience that has me flushed. Kade pulls me up, tucking his head in my neck.
“You’re so fucking perfect. Your taste…fuck I want all of you.” His frantic words are muffled on the skin of my neck.
Yes. Yes. All I can think is yes. I want everything. I want all of him.
