“What are you saying?”
He faced Angus. “I’m saying it’s time I retired the Butcher. I did what I set out to do. Ikilledthe foul bastard who raped andkilledMuira. Now, I’m done. I’llkillno more.”
“Duncan, listen to me.”
“Nay! Iwillnot listen to another word! Go andtellFergus and Gawyn to meet me at the cave. We’ll talk about what must be done. You areallfree men, and if you wish to continue on your own, Iwillnot stop you, and Iwilldo what I can to protect your identities. But Iwillnot be joining you. I’m done, Angus. I’m going to do what I can to get Amelia back.”
Angus frowned.
“I love her. Iwillnot live without her.”
He loved her.Loved her!
Angus took an anxious step forward. “You’re making a mistake. She’s English, and she doesn’t understand the way we live.”
“She understands more than you think, Angus. Now go, please. I’ll come to the cave tomorrow at dusk. The only thing I have left of the Butcher is the shield. I’ll bring it, and I’ll offer it to you, if you wish to continue the fight. If that is your choice, I’ll pledge my loyalty to your cause. You are my friend, Angus, and Iwillnever betray you. But Iwillnot be joining you.”
Stunned, Angus nodded as he backed out of the room.
Duncan sank into a chair, looked up at the portrait of his mother, then cupped his hands together and pressed them to his forehead.
There. It was decided. He was going to lay the Butcher to rest and fight some other way. And somehow …somehow … he was going to earn Amelia’s forgiveness.
Somehow he would redeem himself in her eyes and win back the gift of her respect.
Chapter Twenty-four
Duncan stood inside the mouth of the cave, where he had taken Amelia on the morning of her abduction, and waited for his eyes to adjust to thechillygloom. He looked at the dried-out fire pit and remembered how she had crouched over it, bound by coarse ropes, trembling with fear. He had sliced the ropes from her wrists, done what he could to ease her fears, and wiped the blood from her wounds.
An odd thought, real y, forhehad always been the one with blood on his hands, and he had not yet been able to wash them clean. He never would, he supposed. Not completely.
I cannot marry a man who takes a life and feels nothing.
Over the past few days, he’d had time to reflect upon the wisdom of those words, and what he’d learned about himself was the very thing that gave him hope for absolution—
because hehadfelt something. A great deal, in fact. He might not regret taking Richard Bennett’s life, and he would do it again if the circumstances were the same, but the despair … It was present and it was potent. He had always grieved and mourned for the pain endured by every living human being, even Bennett, who was beaten ruthlessly by his own father—a situation Duncan understoodalltoowell. They had much in common, he and Richard Bennett. And yet they were not the same, for Duncan derived no pleasure from the pain of others. He did what he could to prevent it. That was why he fought—to protect the freedom and safety of his countrymen and -women.
And Amelia. Especial y.
But in so doing, he agonized over every life he took on the battlefield, even in the defense of his own. He wished the world were a kinder place, a gentler place, and that was why he was here tonight.
Duncan lifted his shield off his back, knelt down, and reached into his sporran for thesmallflintbox he had brought with him. A moment later, he was stretched out on his back, running a finger over the shiny agate in the center of the shield. The stone sparkled dazzlingly in the firelight.
He would present this shield to Angus tonight, because Angus would wish to carry on the Butcher’s campaign.
Duncan was certain of it. He would not interfere with Angus’s choice to continue that fight, but he would offer him another option first.…
Horses approached. Riders dismounted just outside.
Duncan closed his eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath.
Everything would be different now.
He heard his friends enter and join him at the fire. Then he opened his eyes and looked up—straight into the eyes of an English redcoat, and three others crowded around him, with muskets cocked and aimed at his head.
His gut seized, for he recognized the leader instantly.
He was the one who had tried to rape Amelia on the beach. The one Duncan had let live.
