But, on the other hand, she understood where Sutton was coming from so deeply that shecouldn’thave any real ire.
Sutton didn’t—or couldn’t—believe that Charlotte could follow through on her proclamation of not running for president. That Charlotte wouldn’t be able to give up her career to be with her.
Charlotte had been hurt and scared and—and an entire jumble of feelings that she couldn’t quite put words to.
But the truth was, deep down, she knew thatshedidn’t even know what to say to Sutton in that moment. She’d had no words to refute.
Because… shedidn’thave a personal life. She didn’t have any clue where she’d go after this chapter was over, if it wasn’t forward in politics.
Charlotte knew she wanted Sutton. She knew she wanted Sutton from the verycoreof her being. With everything she had.
But what she didn’t know was who shewaswithout her political aspirations. She didn’t have a fucking clue who she was or what she would do if she wasn’t doingthis.
Which was, frankly, a terrifying thought.
Who she was and what she was, without the backdrop of her career, was something she needed to figure out.
Andthatwas even more terrifying to admit to herself.
But there was no better time than the present to figure that out, she’d decided in the last couple of days. Sutton had promised her that there was no pressure, and she believed that. She believed Sutton wasn’t pressuring her to figure everything outright now.
Charlotte felt the pressure, though, from herself. She needed to know sooner rather than later. And right now, that started with calling out sick from work. Deliberately taking a day off to sit with her thoughts and reconcile what it was to exist without throwing herself into work when she was stressed or struggling.
Easier said than done, really.
She snorted at herself as she finished her coffee, glancing back down at her phone. Resisting the urge to text Sutton was not as simple as she wished it was. Especially not after their time together over the last couple of weeks.
Christmas Eve and Christmas and New Year’s—they’d gone through so many ups and downs so quickly, and she just wanted to talk to her. Even if it wasn’t about the serious shit they were dealing with right now. Even if it was just to ask how her trip back from Massachusetts had been because she knew Sutton had arrived last night. Even if it was just to ask what she and Lucy were up to today.
Anything.
She hadn’t realized how much she’d lived for these small lines of communication over the last few months, but she found herself desperately missing them in the day-to-day.
But she’d agreed with Sutton that they’d take a cool-down period for a little while. Until they’d both thought about what the future looked like—reallythought about it. Those had been Sutton’s words.
So Charlotte was thinking.
She perked up, confused and surprised, at the sound of her doorbell. For a heart-pounding moment, she couldn’t help but think that Sutton was thinking of her just as much as Charlotte was thinking of Sutton.
Even as she slid off her seat and made her way down the hall, though, she dismissed the thought.
Sutton had made it very clear that they couldn’t go forward without knowing the plan forward. So itcouldn’tbe Sutton.
Caleb, maybe? He’d been blowing up her phone in the last few days to chat about what was going on between her and Sutton. Maybe he’d made the drive from New York to D.C.? Maybe?—
She peered out of the hall window as she approached the door, confusion deepening as she did so. Huh.
Still, she opened the door. “Autumn? What are you doing here? I just sent you a message that I’m out of the office today.”
It wasextremelyunlike Autumn to not promptly read a message. In fact, Charlotte had believed that between her light schedule today and her two capable assistants, her calendar would have been entirely reshaped by now.
Instead, Autumn stood before her, a frown etched deeply into her features as her eyes darted up and down Charlotte. Assessing her, it seemed like.
“Yes, I got the message. But youdidn’tsay you were out of office,” Autumn corrected, her own confusion and concern apparent as her eyes bored into Charlotte’s. “You said you were calling insickand that you should only be disturbed for emergencies!”
All right, so Autumn had, in fact, received the message.
Charlotte stared back, dubious. “Yes?”
