It was obvious by now that Preston was ghosting me. For what reason, I couldn’t imagine.
I kept thinking back, trying to remember if I’d done anything to piss him off. But our last night together had been awesome. He had spanked me soundly on my bare bottom for mouthing off a little when I didn’t want to get out of the tub, then fucked my lights out. I’d been so turned on I came twice. He’d given me a lot of praise for that.
Now, nothing. It made no sense.
I kept thinking. Something tickled at my brain. Things had changed right after my deposition at Preston’s firm. Could it be that simple? Did he think I’d held things back from him or was lying to him? If so, he was wrong. So wrong. Daddy needed to be set right on these matters. I had to see him.
But would he see me?
The thought that he wouldn’t had me crying again. My emotions were out of control. I couldn’t see him like this. I was a mess. I had to be the adult me now. The smart Sage. The loyal one.
It was late in the day. Evening already. My uneaten lunch still sat on the coffee table. My TV was on mute, cartoons flashing lots of color into the room. My blurry eyes wouldn’t quit making tears.
I picked up my phone half a dozen times to text him, but I didn’t want to communicate that way. It had to be face to face. My Daddy had to tell me himself, using real words, that he didn’t want to see me anymore. If he did tell me that, I’d go away. I wouldn’t bother him ever again.
A determination came over. I was going over to Preston’s house. Now.
If I didn’t do this now, my courage would fade. I hated confrontation. I was always the last to know if my boyfriend had cheated or had moved on. They didn’t talk to me about that stuff. No one did. And now, Daddy Preston was doing the same thing.
My mind demanded closure. Plus, I had stuff at his house. I needed to pack it up if things weren’t going any further.
I jumped up in a rush and practically ran out my door. I nearly forgot my keys and wallet.
The wind had picked up. Icy cold. No moon, only dark clouds gathering. The perfect October night. Except for the feeling that I was losing the best thing that had ever happened to me. Except for feeling like I was dying.
I barely noticed the cold on my body or the wind messing up my usually neatly styled hair. At this point, I didn’t care about anything except seeing Preston, for good or for bad.
I had to drive slower than I wanted. My tears kept blurring my view. It wouldn’t do to have a cop stop me for running astop sign in my condition. I’d probably get arrested for impaired driving.
I kept wiping my face on my sleeve. Trying to give myself pep talks.
Get hold of yourself. Daddy doesn’t need to see a whiny adult right now.
It crossed my mind that showing up at Preston’s unannounced, without invitation or knowing what was going on with him, might be considered stalking. That was the last thing I wanted. His final impression of me should be more positive, I decided. And I could always say I wanted my stuff even though my things were easily replaceable.
I sniffed away the tears and grabbed a leftover takeout napkin from my center console, blotting at my eyes. With my tangled hair and puffy eyes, I’d be a sore sight. But it was what it was.
Preston’s big house looked dark when I pulled up the driveway. At least the porch light was on. And there was a dim light in his bedroom window.
Leaves blew in front of my headlights like strange, scraggly critters. The shadows loomed, eerie and strange.
I looked up at the house. We’d discussed Christmas lights and where we might put them. That meant Preston was looking into the future. That thought gave me hope.
I parked in front of the porch steps. My car went dark. And then I just sat. And sat. My inner voice said,Get out.
My body would not move.
All the darker thoughts began to intrude again. Maybe he decided he didn’t want a boy anymore. Maybe being a daddy wasn’t right for him. But then even darker thoughts: What if something bad had happened to him? What if he was sick or injured and didn’t want me involved? What if he had met someone else?
The tears returned. My throat closed up until my breathing hitched. But I forcefully opened my door. I had to know the truth.
The wind nearly took my door off its hinges. The clouds above swirled. But I was brave Sage now. I could do this.
I got out and the cold air went through me like a sword. I’d forgotten my jacket. But I didn’t care. I only had one goal. Preston’s front door.
The wind blew at my stinging eyes. I felt like a warrior climbing those porch steps. Only five, but they seemed endless.
Finally, I stood before Daddy’s beautiful front door with the little paned window high up enough that I had to stand on tiptoes to see through it. I didn’t do that now. Now, I simply raised my hand.
