My inner voice piped in again.
You do realize you are allowed to text him.
I sat and thought about that. But would I be interfering? He said something had come up at work. He’d never said it had anything to do with me. Could it be so bad that he couldn’t even say hello to me in three days?
If it wasn’t personal, like a death in the family or something awful like that, then I wouldn’t be interfering if I texted him.
I thought about it long and hard. Finally, I typed.
Hi,Daddy. I miss you. Are you all right? I haven’t heard from you in way too long. I really do miss you. Lots and lots.
My words seemed a little cutesy,but that was me. He knew that. He expected it. I was being friendly but not pushy. The more I looked at my words, the more I decided they were appropriate.
I hit send. And waited.
And waited.
18
Preston
Icouldn’t focus. Nothing was right. Not at home and not at work.
My little baby boy was gone.
Every day I went to Harold’s office and every day he told me the report filed by HR had not come back to give me the final word about dating Sage.
I had no words to express how much I missed holding him when he was his baby self. Or doing big boy things with him in my bed. My house echoed from too much silence and emptiness. My eyes hurt all the time.
I hadn’t been sleeping or eating. I couldn’t go on like this.
I’d already decided that if HR came back with a no-go about Sage I would simply quit. The case wouldn’t be over for months. That was too long. My choice was hard but not impossible. I could always get another job, but I could not get another Sage. I had come to love him deeply. My soul needed him. My days werelike walking through thick mud because I couldn’t talk to him or be with him.
On day four, I knocked on Harold’s door again. Through the glass, I saw him not even look up as he said, “Come in, Preston.”
I opened the door and sat in front of his desk. I didn’t have to say a word. The look on his face was weary.
“No, I haven’t heard from HR. I’d text you immediately if I had. You know that.”
“Harold, I need some time off.”
“That’s fine. You’ve earned more than any sick leave or vacation time you’ve accumulated. I’ll okay it.”
“There’s more. I need to see Sage.”
“You can’t.”
“And if I do?”
Harold put his elbows on his desk, staring at me. “Just wait one more day. Please. I’ll bombard the bosses with emails. I’ll bombard HR.”
I shook my head. “You know why it’s taking a long time. It’s because they can’t approve it. It’s not all right. They’re studying all the consequences. They could be sued if anyone on the prosecution got wind of this. They could be disciplined in ways they don’t want to bother with. They’re looking at all the angles, but I can already see them. There’s no way they’re going to approve. I know it. You know it. And they know it.”
Harold let out a long sigh. “Then you also know the consequences if you do see him.”
I nodded solemnly. “I’ll be let go.”
He frowned. “I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose you.”
