1
Sage
It wasn't that Daddy Ronnie was seeing other boys. I mean, it was that but not only that. When we went out on dates or had sleepovers we simply had not much to say to each other. He was a daddy and I was a little but that by itself wasn't enough. There was no chemistry. At first I was confused. I thought maybe it was because I didn't know him yet. I would ask him for what I thought were typical little demands and he would suggest other things and I never got to have what I wanted like caring bath times. Or chicken nuggets which he said were bad for me. Or sparkle crayons to color with.
Instead, he wanted to move on to sex pretty quickly, which was okay, But afterward it was like I wasn't even there. I liked to cuddle. Even if just a little bit, I might have been satisfied. But he didn't really like that. He wanted to be left alone to go to sleep.
We'd been out only three times before I stopped taking his calls. They were few and far between anyway. I knew he sawother boys and though we never promised exclusivity to each other it still made me feel somehow less. Inadequate.
I'd had two other daddies before Ronnie and they had all been like that. Was I a terrible match? Maybe I was too needy. Sometimes I wanted to be a baby and have all my needs taken care of. Maybe that was wrong. Maybe I was being too self-centered, the one taking all that attention. Did that make me a narcissist? I didn't think so. I cared about what others felt and thought and wanted. Maybe there was some sort of self-absorbed mentality to being a little.
After Ronnie, I did a lot of introspection. I changed my major in college to psych. I wanted to understand myself better. But no matter what I read or learned about human nature and how we think and react and deal with different lifestyles, it didn't answer my question of why. My need to be little did not go away.
I had a full scholarship, but to make extra cash I worked thirty hours a week at the student pub on campus. During my free nights, I was still drawn to my local kink club. I couldn't stay away. Going there and hanging out with people who had the same longings I did made me feel less isolated and more comforted.
After Ronnie, I'd made a new decision for myself. No more daddies. Not right now at this point in my life. I'd go to the club to hang out in the playroom and watch the other littles with their daddies. I'd read, color, and play with the toys. It was familiar territory. I had friends there. For the past year, that had been enough.
Tonight, the club was in full swing even though it was a weekday. It was a popular and successful place and men came in from the local area as well as surrounding cities because it was safe and clean. The club had scheduled kink demonstrations in various private rooms as well as fantastic beer battered onion rings and buffalo wings. The best in the world, in my opinion. Itwasn't a cheap club but it was my one vice and I made sure to budget for it. I had a monthly student membership which I used my pub tips to pay for.
The playroom was nearly full when I walked in. Even with the doors closed, the dance floor music pounded through the walls. The vibration gave the club an added sexy atmosphere along with fancy lighting and strobes.
Outside the playroom were lingering scents of sex oils and leather and spiced colognes. In the playroom, I breathed in baby powder and sugary lollipop smells. This was my safe space.
I moved through the room in my pink bib overall shorts, pink knee socks and saddle shoes. I'd had to hunt online to find those shoes and when they arrived in the mail I was the happiest little ever.
“Hey, Sage.”
I glanced in the direction of the voice. “Hi, Very.” His name was Avery but everyone called him by his nickname.
“Wanna come color with me? Daddy’s off doing daddy things right now.” Very’s daddy was like Ronnie, not exclusive. Very didn’t seem to mind but sometimes he seemed lonely even with lots of people around. I could relate.
“Sure.” I smiled at him and sat on a cushion at the low table where he was coloring.
“Great. I was hoping you'd show up.”
“I do love it here,” I said.
“Anything new going on with you?”
“You mean daddy-wise?”
He shrugged and nodded.
“Nope,” I answered.
“Well, if you keep turning everyone down you're gonna run out of daddy's.”
“That's okay. I'm not really looking right now. I'm not sure what I want anymore.”
“You mean you don't want to be a little?”
“I didn't say that. I can still be a little without someone else in my life.”
“But a little without a daddy is like… like, um, chocolate without the peanut butter.”
I laughed. “Maybe, but both are good separately, too.”
“I suppose. But you’re a year single. A year!”
