When Talon emerges from the bathroom in nothing but a towel, he steals the breath straight from my lungs.
“Just so we’re clear,” I start, needing to be transparent, “I’ve never done this. Not from this side at least.”
“I know. I trust you,” he says confidently, moving toward me. “We’ll figure it out together.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I tell him, continuing to voice my fears.
I’m afraid I’ll do something wrong and cause him even a fraction of the pain I endured.
“You won’t,” he assures me. “We’ll talk. I have plenty of lube, and my prep job was…extensive,” he says with a wink.
I’m dying to know more, but my questions will have to wait. Before I can process what I’m doing, I’m crawling to him from across the bed, already naked, reaching to remove his towel.
And then I pause.
I haven’t put my mouth on him yet, and I’ve alreadyadmitted bottoming will be out for a while…but that means our relationship mirrors mine and Derek’s, withmemimicking my horrible ex. If I don’t return the actions,I’mdoing all the taking, and I don’t like the way that makes me feel at all.
“Hey, where’d you go?” Talon says, dropping to his knees at the side of the bed to look me in the eye instead of forcing my chin up.
The act of meeting me down here is so simple, yet so powerful, and I return to the moment, but stay quiet because I’m not sure how to voice that, or even if I should.
I wish healing were linear. I wish once you got over a hurdle, it could never trip you up again, but that’s just not the way it works.
“I have no expectations tonight, Zeke. If either of us decides we’re not ready, then we’ll wait, okay?”
“I want this. I want this withyou,” I tell him.
“You’re in control. Whatever you need, it’s yours. No judgment. No questions,” Talon says, calming my anxiety just like always.
I nod and tap his shoulder.
“Stand up,” I command. He does so immediately. “I want tonight to beours.Your needs are just as important as mine, Talon. I need to know that you’ll tell me if you don’t like something I’m doing, okay? I need it to be good for you. I need you to have the first time I didn’t.”
“I’ll tell you everything. I promise,” he says as I move my face forward, taking my first tentative lick of the head of his dick. Talon shudders above me and holds good on his promise to tell me everything as he says, “You turn me on so fucking much. I’m not gonna last long.”
His words encourage me to take the whole head of his cock into my mouth. Breathing through my nose, I hold still for aminute, making sure I focus on where I am, who I’m with, and the fact that I’m safe.
Talon keeps his hips steady, careful not to thrust, which I appreciate so fucking much.
The first drop of precum hits my tongue, and I’m relieved to know his flavor is unlike anything I’ve ever tasted. It’s sweet and light and so perfectly Talon, I could weep. It keeps me grounded, reminding me I’m loved and safe.
As I pull back and drive forward again, my tongue licks the underside of his shaft this time, the desire to explore growing more intense with each swipe.
“Baby, I don’t know if I can keep standing up. You feel so fucking good, I’m about to melt into this carpet.”
Smiling around his dick, I grab the base with my hand and stroke as I pull my mouth free.
“Do you want to lie down?” I ask.
“Yes. I want to see how perfect you look between my legs,” Talon answers immediately.
His words heat my skin, and I slide back, allowing him enough room to climb onto the bed. Once he’s settled and propped up on a mountain of pillows that offers the perfect view, I dip my head back to his cock.
Now that he’s able to fully relax, it’s only another minute or two before he’s gently pushing at my shoulders.
“Okay, unless you want me to come right now, you’ve gotta stop.”
I know two things to be true in this moment.
