The mini hell hound slouches out of the kitchen and into the living room. She peers around us, settles a distrustful glare at us both, then leaps onto the sofa. Both of us watch her because the little shit always bites Callan.
He says she’s a rescue. That she’s terrified of everything. Mostly, I know that everyone’s terrified of her. Rocket is a very fitting name.
“Think if we feed her, she’ll leave us alone?”
“She’s not that bad, Pecan,” Hailey says around a laugh.
She goes to stroke Rocket’s head then jumps when the little shit goes to bite her.
“Fuck! She’s Cujo, I swear.”
“Reincarnate, Peeks,” I confirm.
Hailey, a hand still pressed to her chest, asks, “Think it’s true that she stopped biting Callan last week?”
Knowing how soft Callan is with Beelzebub’s furry friend, I mutter, “Not on your life.”
When the boys come stumbling in, enough fried chicken to feed the five thousand, I shove Callan in the side. “Thought those slutty little glasses meant you’d be able to read better. What in Southern fried chicken looks like Butterball turkey? Not even the same letters, Callan.”
“They share vowels,” he grouses, toying with the glasses he recently picked up because he was getting headaches while studying.
“Shame they don’t share orders.” I poke at one of the containers. “Think if we feed one to Rocket, she’ll accept it as a sacrifice and leave us alone?”
Callan smirks as Rocket yips at Pecan, who immediately drops the breast in his hand. “Holy fuck, okay! Here! TAKE IT.”
Rocket, preening, snaps it up and trots off to only God knows where in the apartment.
“You should license her out as a bodyguard.” Zach eyes the departing dog like it really is a demon. “Either that or get her exorcised.”
“My sister-in-law and I tried that when we first got her?—”
“How’d that work? You’re not a priest,” Hailey inquires, delving into the paper bags for some chicken.
“I got ordained online.”
That has us all blinking at him.
“You got ordained?” I sputter.
“Yup. Dead easy.” He pokes around for a wing too. “Didn’t work though.”
“Nah, wrong church. You’d need to go to seminary, Callan.”
“How do you know so much about Catholicism?”
“My grandma.” I shrug around a laugh as I preheat the air fryer. “Not like I know much more than that. Doesn’t make me a genius to know that priests go to seminary.”
“What you doing?”
“Don’t eat with your mouth open, Pecan,” Hailey and I chide simultaneously then crack up laughing.
Still snickering, I continue, “And you know I like mine extra crispy.” I dump a bunch into the drawer. “Heard from Logan and Paul, by the way.”
“What did they have to say?”
“Franella’s turned into a desperate housewife.”
Zach pauses before he can take a bite. “Do I want to know what that means?”
