Everything is pulling me toward Ryan, every inch of my body screaming to return to his arms. But my moral compass has clawed its way back to lead the charge, and I know that as terrible as I feel about leaving this way, I’m doing the right thing. I’ve already kissed someone else and—worse than that—I know I have feelings for him. Strong feelings that I can’t suppress. Not after that kiss, anyway.
Bloody hell, what a kiss.
Sitting on the tube, I can’t stop thinking about Ryan, almost missing the stop where I change onto the Northern Line to get to Liam’s flat. That kiss was amazing. It was more than that. It wasmind-blowing.No one has ever kissed me like that before. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that wanted. Thatneeded.
Everything about Ryan makes me dizzy with excitement: the way he smiles; the clean, fresh masculine scent of his cologne; his broad shoulders and strong arms; those dazzling blue eyes. But also the way he makes me feel; the way he notices things about me; the way he looks at me…
I can’t believe he came to my parents’ house after our fight. I’d felt so humiliated and betrayed that it was easier to write those few days off as a stupid mistake—I had lost myself for a weekend in a silly fairytale romance that wasn’t real. As far as I was concerned, Ryan had played his part as the devilishly handsome adversary-turned-lover with perfect finesse. He had said all the right things to have his fun for a weekend, and then he was right back to focusing on his own ends come Monday morning. I’d told myself I was stupid for being so naïve as to think that a guy like him would put a girl like me first.
It was easier to think that way because I was so angry and embarrassed. And it was plausible, too—Ryan is the sort of handsome that makes people do a double take. The only reason anyone would look twice at me is if I fell over because I was in a rush, late for wherever I needed to be.
But now, as I walk to Liam’s flat from the tube station, I consider what I’d have done if I had been in Ryan’s shoes—if we’d gone for that drink and then it had been me who got the phone call to say I’d got the job. Would I have told him, knowing I’d ruin the night? Especially if, as he claims, there were feelings already there in the mix? Would it even be my place to tell him he hadn’t gotten the job?
Turning the corner onto Liam’s road, I force myself to focus on what’s coming next.
I’ll break up with Liam, kindly and respectfully, and then I will go home and have a bath and get my head sorted. Once I’ve worked out exactly what I want to say to Ryan, I’ll pop him a message and go round to see him to talk things through.
It’s a sensible, grown-up plan.
Nearing Liam’s building, I start to feel sick with nerves. Breakups are horrible and I hate the idea of hurting him. None of this is his fault, it’s completely on me, and I can only hope that he realizes sooner rather than later that we’re not meant to be. Even if Ryan hadn’t come into my life, Liam and I would not have worked out. The charity ball had been an eye-opener, and honestly, I really didn’t like the way he kept trying to mix our business lives. This breakup is for the best.
Someone is exiting his block of flats as I arrive, and I catch the door, so there’s no need for me to ring the bell for him to let me up. I start climbing the stairs apprehensively, wondering if he’ll even be home. He did say he was working on something with Halo Skewed tonight, but he might be back from his meeting with them by now. And if not, his flatmate might be in, so I can always wait until he’s back.
I reach his floor and walk slowly along the landing, my heart pounding against my chest as I try to focus on what I’m going to say exactly. There’s no easy way to break up with someone. I just have to keep it simple and calm.
Approaching his door, I hear music coming from inside and instantly feel awash with dread. He’s probably home.That’s what I want,I tell myself,it’s a good thing he’s home.It’s like pulling off a Band-Aid. It’s unpleasant and painful, but it’s a necessity.
I lift my hand to knock on the door but pause when I hear a voice in there floating above the music. It’s someone laughing, but not Liam, nor his male flatmate.
It’s a woman.
Her shrill giggles are soon accompanied by Liam’s booming laugh that I recognize immediately. I wait for a bit longer to knock, turning my head and pressing my ear up against the door. Listening to their muffled conversation, largely obscured by the guitar-led crooning music, I’m almost certain that there’s just the two of them in there. Their voices stop after a while and all I can hear is the music, their conversation obviously coming to an end for one reason or another.
Interesting.
Taking a deep breath, I knock on the door.
There are footsteps and then it swings open. Liam stands in the doorway wearing nothing but pajama bottoms. His hair is tousled, sticking up in an unruly manner, and he has a telltale tint of pink across his lips, the kind left behind from lipstick. His eyes widen in horror when he sees me standing there.
“H-Harper,” he stutters.
He begins to say something else, but I push past him into the flat to find a raven-haired woman sitting on his sofa in a gorgeous set of lacy teal underwear and one of his shirts thrown over the top. She’s clutching a half-drunk bottle of beer and sits bolt upright as I march in, wrapping the shirt across her chest as quickly as possible. I recognize her from the charity ball—she was the woman that Liam left with that night.
“Harper, it’s not what it looks like,” Liam claims, appearing next to me, his bare feet sliding across the floor. “This is Bianca, the lead singer of Halo Skewed. Like I told you, we were working tonight on band stuff and then… uh… we thought… we thought we would—”
“Have sex?” I finish for him.
He winces. “No! No, no, no, no,no.”
“Yes,” Bianca corrects with a sigh. I turn to her, impressed.
“Bianca!” he hisses.
“Liam, she’s not an idiot,” she reasons before looking up at me. “Are you an idiot?”
“No, I’m not.”
“There you go.” Bianca shrugs. “I’m in my underwear, Liam. Might as well be honest.”
