“Anyway, we can have the formal meeting next week to discuss the terms of redundancy and your notice period, and you’re welcome to bring someone with you from HR, if you’d like. I must point out that I’m doing you a favor here, giving you the heads-up, simply because you asked, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone else on the team quite yet. There are two others who will also be made redundant, and I’ll be telling them next week. If people find out that you know, they’ll all be banging on the door to find out who else is in trouble, and I’d rather not have that headache today.”
He glances at his computer and moves his mouse to click on something.
“I need to deal with this email. Will that be all?”
I don’t know how to respond. I’m suddenly too exhausted to speak, so I nod silently and walk out of his office. No one looks up as I emerge. They’re all too focused on their work or on their phones. I hear Gabby sniff from her computer and see that her eyes are red and squinty from crying again today. She is a fairly recent hire as the editorial assistant and is therefore convinced that she’s going to be the first to go. I wish I could protect her from it, especially when she’s only just broken into journalism. I feel so sorry for her, and terrible for myself. I’m cursed with knowing I’m no longer part of this team without being able to share the news with anyone.
Sitting down, I pull myself in toward my desk and stare numbly at my screen. The emails popping up in my inbox seem irrelevant now. I try to picture my life without this job. I can’t. It seems impossible. I’ll have to start applying elsewhere. The panic begins to bubble through me.
What am I going to do?
“Harper, are you okay?” Mimi asks, peering round her screen. “You don’t look so good.”
“Yeah, fine, but I’ve just realized I’m supposed to be… at a book launch,” I squeak, bile rising in my throat. I reach down for my bag. “I have to go.”
“We were all going to go for a drink after work,” she says, gesturing to the rest of the team. “Drown our sorrows together, so to speak.”
“I really need to be at this launch. It’s a big deal. Lots of… scandal. Sorry to miss out.”
“We’ll miss you. Are you sure you’re all right?” she checks, concerned.
“Just a bit of a headache. I’ll take some ibuprofen on the way,” I assure her, logging off and pushing myself up off my chair. “See you.”
I don’t know if Cosmo notices me leaving as I hurry past hisoffice, but if he does, he doesn’t try to stop me. Why should he care now anyway? Standing at the back of the elevator, I blink back tears as reporters from the main paper cram in with me, and I wait impatiently as they file out onto the ground floor, then rush past them to get to the exit.
It’s raining. Heavily. It was a clear morning and warm, too, so I haven’t brought an umbrella or any kind of jacket with me to work today.
I step out into the rain and begin the walk to the tube, water drops falling freely down my face, dripping off the end of my nose, the wisps of my hair that have fallen loose from my ponytail plastering against my forehead, my blue shirt beginning to stick to my skin as it dampens. I don’t care.
“Harper!”
I’m so focused on putting one foot in front of the other, blinking through the onslaught of rain, that I don’t notice Ryan until he’s right in front of me, stopping me in my tracks. He peers down at me, holding a large umbrella that he immediately positions over my head.
“What are you doing?” he asks, clearly baffled by my walk in the rain when I’m supposed to be working.
“You’re in Wales,” I say stupidly, even though he’s standing in front of me right here on the pavement in Vauxhall.
“Only until this morning. I’ve just got the train back. You’re soaked! Why don’t you have an umbrella?”
“It wasn’t raining earlier.”
“Where are you going? Do you have an event?”
“Yes,” I lie, using the back of my hand to wipe the water off my face. “I have to go.”
“Wait, Harper, take this,” he says, holding out the handle of the umbrella as I go to step around him.
“No, thanks. I’m fine,” I say, pushing it away.
“What’s wrong?” He steps back to stand in front of me again. “Something is wrong. Talk to me.”
“You heard about the redundancies, didn’t you?”
His face falls. “Yes. It’s so shit. How is everyone?”
“Not good. Did Cosmo call you yesterday?”
He runs a hand through his hair, and I understand straightaway why he’s not answering a very simple question.
