I stare at him, my jaw on the floor. “You’re thanking me for not going crazy at you when you broke up with me the day before our wedding.”
Having been so confident, he suddenly looks unsure. Maybe it’s my tone. He can sense that there’s trouble brewing. And he is absolutely correct.
“Well… yeah. But not in a mean or disrespectful way,” he says quickly, his eyebrows knitted together as he hopes that he’s hit the right mark. “I’m trying to say that you’ve been really classy. It’s a good thing.”
“You could rely on me to be sensible about things.” I watch him curiously as I repeat his earlier remark. “What did you mean by that?”
He shrugs, answering warily. “I meant… I meant what it sounds like. That you’re a sensible, levelheaded person and you’ve taken everything in your stride. You’re… a sturdy character.”
“Sorry. I’m awhat?”
“That sounds bad, but you know what I mean,” he says, laughing nervously, while my deadpan expression doesn’t flinch. “You’re not one to lose your head, are you? You’re collected and down-to-earth. I feel like you’re upset by this, but it’s a compliment, Freya. These are all good qualities.”
“Really? Because the thing is, Matthew, these ‘good qualities’ sound a lot like all the reasons you broke up with me,” I point out through gritted teeth, the rage boiling up inside of me. “I was so ‘together,’ remember? So ‘pragmatic’? While you were away with the fairies, just an easygoing, laid-back kind of guy, who clashed with my sturdy, sensible ways.”
“You know, when you say it like that it sounds bad. You’re twisting it.”
“It’s nothing to do with the way I say it, Matthew.”
“Freya, come on.” He sighs as though this is all very tiresome. “I just wanted to give you a compliment, okay? I thought we were there, but clearly I was wrong.”
Something snaps inside me. I can’t pinpoint the exact thing that pushes me over the edge, but it’s a mixture of his condescension, his scathing comments disguised as compliments, his manipulation of the conversation so that I appear to be the one overreacting, and those fucking stupid shoes.
“You know what, Matthew,” I quietly seethe, being sure not to make a scene at a wedding, “you do not wear light blue shoes with a navy suit. You wear brown or black. And maybe some other colors that I can’t think of right now. But youneverwear light blue.”
With that, I turn and march away from him across the grass to where Ruby, Simone, and Leo are waiting for me, all looking worried.
“What happened?” Ruby asks, her forehead creased in concern. “How long were you even chatting? We got to the macarons and realized you weren’t with us! Then we weren’t sure if you wanted us to come over and save you.”
“Are you okay?” Leo asks.
“No,” I hiss, leading them away from a cluster of guests chatting away nearby. “He said I was boring.”
Simone gasps. “What? He said that?”
“In so many words. Oh my god, I feel like I might explode. I just…” I trail off, raking a hand through my blow-dried hair, probably ruining it for the night, but I don’t care. “Is he still standing there or has he gone?”
“He’s slunk away, don’t worry,” Simone assures me in a disgusted tone.
“What happened?” Leo asks, putting a comforting hand on my arm.
“He wanted to thank me.”
“What for?”
“For being so sensible about the breakup. For not lashing out at him. For being so down-to-earth and boring,” I explain, furiously.
“What the—” Ruby looks incredulous. “He thanked you? That’s so weird.”
“Weird and horrible!” I say, folding my arms across my body, suddenly feeling vulnerable. “It means he’s happy with the way things are. No regrets. He wanted to thank me for making the right decision so easy for him. Ugh. I feel… I feel—” I sigh, shutting my eyes and wishing I could disappear. “—so small.”
“He is such a dickhead,” Simone says with so much feeling it makes me smile. “I hope you told him where he can stick his thank-you.”
I wince at my parting shot. “Actually, I told him his shoes didn’t go with his trousers.”
They all burst into hysterics and their laughter is so infectious that I start giggling, too, even though I feel rubbish.
“I bet that cut him deep,” Leo says, nodding. “He now has to feel stupid in those shoes for the rest of the day. Nicely played.”
