“I appreciate your support,” I say, before throwing my head back. “How is this happening? Why did he do this to us? I want to feel happy again.”
“You will,” Simone says confidently. “And we’re not going tolet Matthew’s horrible, stupid, gormless comments ruin Cali’s wedding for you. You have to find the strength to forget about what he said tonight if only for her. She was so worried he would ruin her wedding.”
I sniff. “You’re right. Cali wouldn’t deserve it if I fell apart.”
“You know that phrase ‘live like no one’s watching’?” Ruby asks me.
“I think it’s ‘dance like no one’s watching,’” Leo corrects, before receiving a sharp glare from his fiancée. He takes a sip of his drink.
“Whatever it is, change ‘no one’s’ to ‘Matthew’s not,’” she instructs. “You have to enjoy this evening and act as though he’s not here. Dance, live, whatever, have fun tonight like Matthew’s not watching.”
“That feels impossible,” I admit, biting my lip.
“Freya.” Ruby grabs hold of my shoulders. “It is imperative that you don’t let him win.”
“It’s not really about winning,” Leo mumbles, nudging her shoulder.
“Yes, I know, Leo, but for once, stop being so mature and wise,” she huffs, turning her attention back to me. “If you sulk tonight, if you spend the wedding miserable, then he wins. But if you have a brilliant time, throwing caution to the wind and proving to yourself that you’re worth so much more than how he makes you feel, who do you think wins then?”
“Um. Me?”
“Exactly!” she exclaims. “You are a winner! You are not… what did he say again? Sensible?”
“Collected. Down-to-earth. Sturdy. Not one to lose my head.”
She closes her eyes in frustration at Matthew’s words, before opening them and looking right at me, steadily and surely.
“Do you think you are those things?”
“Well, yeah. But he made them sound like flaws. And I’m not just those things.”
“That’sright.” Her eyes light up and she jabs her finger at me, as though I’ve hit the nail on the head. “What else are you?”
“Uh… sarcastic, Isabelle said. Cynical, as we discussed earlier.” I hesitate. “Wow. Why are you friends with me again?”
“Focus, Freya. You are kind. You are clever. You are silly.”
“I can be surprisingly silly,” I agree. “Like the other day when I was shimmying to music while I put out the washing.”
“You’re funny,” Leo chips in. “Much funnier than Matthew. He doesn’t really have a sense of humor. Some of his jokes were pretty crass. I hate crude humor.”
I’m quite shocked at this revelation from Leo. But now that I think about it, I don’t remember Matthew ever laughing much with my friends. Maybe that’s why Freddie and Ryan never really included him in their crew.
“You’re not a follower, you are a leader,” Ruby continues, getting more and more riled up. “Would someone who ‘doesn’t lose their head’ spend all night on the dance floor of a wedding and be the last one standing?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Would they steal a traffic cone on a night out in Leeds?” Simone asks pointedly.
“Definitely not. Although I do feel bad about that and I did put it back.”
“Matthew is wrong about you,” Simone declares firmly.
“Yes,” I say, nodding, desperate for her to be right. “Yes, he is.”
“Say it like you mean it!” Ruby demands.
“He’s wrong about me!”
