“I thought it made it more sophisticated. If you look at it, you can see what I mean.” He turns to face away from me and reaches over to lower his T-shirt at the neckline to display the artwork in question.
I clasp a hand round my mouth. “Oh my god! It’s ridiculous!”
“Kind of sophisticated, though, right?”
“Not at all.”
“A little bit, though.”
I can’t stop laughing. “Okay. Maybe the monocle does make it a little bit sophisticated.”
“Yeah, like you know that this eagle reads Shakespeare.” Jamie turns back to face me, chuckling. “Worst thing is, she’s never seen it.”
“You’re joking! After all this effort?!”
“I haven’t seen her since we broke up.” He shakes his head. “What an idiot. But honestly, I love it now. Life has a funny way of working out like that, I always find. Maybe that’s because I’m a floozy.”
I smile, looking down at my lap. “Floating through it all like a floozy. It makes sense.”
“As I say, that Matthew guy didn’t know what he was talking about. I’m temperamental, just like he claims to be, and here we are, getting on like a house on fire.”
“I’ve known you for about two days in total and our relationship has already been rocky.”
“On one of those days, I was too hungover to be a proper human,” he points out.
“Okay, but in Matthew’s defense, you haven’t had to live with me for twelve years.”
“You were together for twelve years?” His eyes widen. “Whoa. That’s a hefty relationship.”
“How long were you with your ex?” I ask curiously.
“Two years. That wasn’t my longest relationship, though. I was with someone before her for three years. We’re still friends, actually.”
I nod and we fall into a natural silence. The train is hurtling through countryside now as we leave London behind, and I look out the window at the blur of fields and trees we pass. I can’t imagine ever being “just friends” with Matthew, to be around him but not be with him. How would that even be possible? I can’t get my brain around that idea at all.
An eruption of laughter from down the train prompts me to tear my eyes from the window and crane my neck over the seat in front to see what’s going on. Freddie is standing in the aisle, telling an animated story and getting plenty of laughs from his captive audience. Niamh is sitting near him, burying her head in her hands as he relays an embarrassing anecdote about her to everyone. She reaches for his hand and squeezes it affectionately before he launches into the next part of the story.
Jamie nods toward Freddie. “Is this your only wedding this summer aside from Isabelle and Ryan’s, then?”
“Ha!” I turn my attention back to my cookie, tearing a bit off. “No. I have five more this summer. Two down already.”
He chuckles. “I have a fair few, too. I think three more.”
I swallow my mouthful. “It’s what happens when you’re in your thirties. Hen dos, weddings, baby showers, housewarmings.”
Jamie nods knowingly, reaching for a fresh can of beer. “Yep.”
“Honestly, it’s hard not to feel a bit lost when you’re alone in the midst of all of it, with no idea where you’re going, and everyone seeming to move on but you.”
He pauses for a moment, and I feel my cheeks flush. I really said too much that time, didn’t I? “You know what? I think everyone feels a bit lost. Even the people with high-flying jobs at giant drinks corporations, even those who seem like they have it—what’s the word? Oh yeah—together.”
“Guess you’re right. I can attest to that.”
“Muddling through is all we can do. And the best way, it’s long been said, is to drink pornstar martinis from a can, go to Leeds for a weekend, and have a bloody good time.”
“Those are wise words.”
“I think it was Plato who said that.”
