“I honestly—”
“I believe you.” He looked pained. “I once searched how to clean a saxophone properly and I accidentally got one of the letters in that word wrong. You can imagine which one. It was… unpleasant.”
I nodded slowly. “I bet.”
“I came over to check you’re feeling prepared about the meeting this afternoon,” he said, acting completely normal and serious, as though we hadn’t just had the weirdest conversation.
“Yes, thanks. I’m all good.”
“Well, let me know if you need any help.”
“I will.” I hesitated. “Phil, I just want to reiterate that I really wasn’t looking up escorts. I need to find a plus-one for Roshni’s wedding next weekend—remember Roshni? And I’m just not sure who to take. I was looking for inspiration.”
“Oh, well, that’s nice news that Roshni is getting married. I didn’t work with her for long, but she was a great member of the team.” He raised his eyebrows. “Can you take a friend, or does it have to be a date?”
“Ah, well… uh… it’s kind of a long story, but I have to take someone unexpected.”
Whywas I telling my boss this information?! He wasobviouslydesperate to get out of this conversation! He was just being polite! He doesn’t care about my life! He doesn’t—
“Someone unexpected? Interesting,” he said, stroking his chin and, much to my surprise, looking genuinely intrigued.
“It’s a… uh… challenge sort of thing that my friends have set me.” I laughed nervously. “It’s stupid.”
“I don’t think that sounds stupid. Pushing yourself to meet new people and try new things is very important,” he said matter-of-factly. “After all, it’s thanks to giving the trapeze a go that I met my wife.”
I blinked up at him. “Sorry?”
“I thought I’d try it out,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve always been very into aerial acrobatics and things like that. Aerial yoga is fun, and a nice introduction into getting your feet off the ground. Anyway, all those years ago I’d spent too much time wallowing and moping around, pining after a girl I’d been seeing for just a few weeks who dumped me, and I thought I’d try something new and fun. My wife was one of the instructors.”
I had no idea what to say to this. Phil is into aerial acrobatics?!Phil.He met his wife while honing histrapezeskills?
Good lord, nothing makes sense anymore.
I mean, this is the guy who always has a sandwich at his desk for lunch. Literally, I’ve never seen him go out and buy a different lunch, unless we go out for a meal with clients. Monday to Friday, he retrieves a homemade foil-wrapped sandwich from the fridge. He doesn’t participate in any team-bonding activities; he’s never shown any inclination toward having a passion for fitness; and, when pushed at the Christmas party, he admitted that one of the wildest moments of his childhood was when he styled his hair into a quiff.
That guy is a secretseasoned acrobat?!
“Have you tried speed dating?” he asked, as I simply stared at him openmouthed.
“Uh, no.”
“Worth thinking about,” he mused. “My brother tried it and didn’t have any luck with the love side of things, but he did meet a magician that he’s stayed close with.”
What is happening?!
My brain couldn’t handle this conversation. This was genuinely the most Phil and I had spoken about anything non- work-related ever.
“A magician,” I repeated, still grappling with the trapeze stuff.
“Yes. She performed at my brother’s birthday party a few years ago.”
“Right. Wow. Any good?”
“The magician?”
“Yes.”
“I have no idea. I actually wasn’t there. I didn’t get invited.”
