She looked up. “Sure.”
“Do you know what Vitalyn is?”
“Yes, it’s a medication. Why?”
I bit my lower lip, unsure how much I could say without her figuring out that I was talking about Henry. “Can you take it even if you don’t need it?”
“You can take anything. The question is just at what cost,” Amy replied with a shrug. “Vitalyn is... relatively harmless, if you want to put it that way. Which does not mean that you should treat it lightly! If you don’t need the Vitalyn to treat the symptoms it’s prescribed for, it can boost your concentration and stop you from feeling tired. That’s why it’s pretty popular among my classmates, especially around exam time.”
I tilted my head. “What do you mean by ‘relatively harmless’?”
“Well, Vitalyn is still a drug. You shouldn’t take it if you haven’t had it prescribed by a doctor, but you can’t get physically addicted. You can develop a psychological addiction to it, though, if you start believing you can’t function without it.” She tapped her bottom lip with her pen pensively. “And there also can be unwelcomed side effects, of course, as with any medication—loss of appetite, for example, and headaches and nausea. In rare cases, heart rhythm disturbances. Most of my classmates just get insomnia.”
It didn’t sound so bad. I still hated the fact that Henry was taking it, and most of all, that he had hidden it from me. But the fact that a medical student said it was relatively harmless made me worry less about him.
“So you can’t overdose on it?”
“You can overdose on any medication, but a typical overdose like you get with some other drugs is unlikely. At least, I’ve never heard of it. One of my classmates ended up in hospital because of Vitalyn once. It isn’t healthy to pull all-nighters for days without taking a break—and eventually, your body gives up. But she was fine a few days later,” Amy said. She gave me a sceptical look. “Just to be clear: I would definitely advise you not to take Vitalyn unless you have a prescription.”
I smiled. “Don’t worry. I hate drugs. I was just watching a TV series where someone took it, and I was curious,” I lied before turning back to my sandwich. I wasn’t sure if Amy had bought it, but she didn’t press further and returned to her textbooks.
Not wanting to distract her any further, I headed back to Grace’s room with my plate. I thought about what Amy had said as I ate my sandwich. Even if Vitalyn didn’t carry severe risks, it was still a drug. And if Henry was willing to take it, he might also be willing to try other, harder drugs if he felt he had no other choice. That was what scared me. My mum’s addiction had started with something relatively harmless too, and it had ended in tragedy.
I stared out the window. Rain pelted against the glass, and people with umbrellas darted down the street seeking shelter. They all seemed to know where they were going. I, on the other hand, had no idea. I wasn’t really in the mood to make important decisionsabout my life right now, but I needed to start thinking about what to do next. I couldn’t stay with the Claymores forever, after all. Sooner or later, I would have to leave the safety of Grace’s bedroom—and then what?
I didn’t want to live on the streets again. Not just because of the cold nights, the relentless hunger, and the constant danger, but also because I was afraid I wouldn’t make it out a second time. Thanks to Henry, I finally had a bank account and a little money again, but it wasn’t nearly enough to rent an apartment. Maybe it was time to leave London, to use the money to buy a bus ticket that would take me out of this city that had caused me more pain in the past few years than anything else. There was nothing left to keep me here except Grace, and in some other city, I wouldn’t run the risk of running into Henry. Or Randell, even if I was pretty sure that his interview with William Hunt was the last I’d ever hear from him. He’d milked me of every last penny and used up all his ammunition, which meant he had nothing left to blackmail me with.
But if I was honest with myself, I didn’t want to leave London. This city was my home and all I had ever known. I could apply for more jobs. Now that I was no longer working for The Darlington, I was more flexible, and if I played my cards right, I might even be able to get a reference from Giulia. I hadn’t worked at the hotel for long, but I’d done a good job.
I was still lost in thought and running through my options when the door to Grace’s room swung open, and she walked in. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose were flushed red, and the wind had whipped wildly at her hair, leaving it looking dishevelled.
“Hey! You look pretty alive today,” she greeted me.
I made a vague gesture with my hand, but I knew what she meant. Over the past few days, she’d mostly seen me curled up likea shrimp in her bed. Today, I was sitting up, at least, and I hadn’t yet cried. I probably would later, but for now, my eyes were dry.
Grace set down her bag. “How are you doing?”
“Better. I even ate something earlier.”
“Glad to hear it,” she said with a smile that faltered almost immediately. She turned her back on me to hide it, but it was already too late.
“What’s wrong?”
She sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping. “It’s nothing serious... Or perhaps it is. But you’re feeling better, and I don’t want to ruin it.”
“Tell me. You’re scaring me.”
“Henry came to see me today.” My stomach cramped at Grace’s words. I looked at my friend uncertainly and waited for her to continue. “He asked if I knew where you were,” she explained when I didn’t speak.
“What did you tell him?” My voice sounded thin.
Grace’s expression softened sympathetically. “I told him you’re staying with me and he doesn’t need to worry about you, but that you don’t want to see him.”
Relief washed over me. I wasn’t ready to see him yet. Perhaps I never would be. The thought of being close to Henry without beingwithhim was unbearable. “How did he react?”
“He didn’t seem particularly happy, but he gave me something for you,” Grace answered hesitantly. “I don’t want to keep it from you, but I’m also not sure it’s a good idea to give it to you.”
I wasn’t sure either. “What is it?”
