And with that, he swings himself onto the ropeway and speeds off. He crashes into the rear spring, and I give us a maximum of fifteen minutes.
“Now you.” Demandingly he holds out the zip line. Screw it, I’m already here, I can at least try it. And with no further thinking, I climb to the starting point and whizz down. The wind blows around my nose and I have to admit, this is fun.
We take turns again and again, cheering louder and louder, and I’ve never seen Jannis like this before.
“Hello? This is the police. Who’s there?” A voice breaks the silence of the night, and the glow of two flashlights pierces the darkness through the bushes around us
“Fuck! That way!” Running on nothing more than instinct, Jannis breaks through the nearest bushes pulling me alongwith him. He purposefully fights his way through branches and foliage, and as soon as we are back on a road, he starts running. I can barely keep up, it’s uphill for fucks sake, but suddenly we’re back in the vineyards and he slows down.
Leaning forward, he gasps for air, and I’m no different. Probably worse, but I’m not willing to admit that. And then, out of nowhere, a sound breaks through the silence of the night, one I’ve never heard before, deep and warm. Jannis is laughing. Really laughing. Loud and uninhibited, and I can’t remember ever hearing anything more beautiful. I laugh along with him because I simply can’t help myself and because the whole thing was so much fun, even though we almost got caught by the police.
My heart tightens into a knot in my chest when I look at him. It’s a feeling I know, I’ve felt it before, but... never for a guy.
Jannis’s gaze lands on me and he falls silent. The fire in his eyes goes out and an almost overwhelming sadness washes over him. It’s a regular companion, I’ve gotten used to it by now, but to see him clearly for a brief moment, without that heavy veil, was... beautiful.
I wonder where it comes from. The logical assumption would be the thing with his mother, but his gaze was cold, almost indifferent, when he spoke of her. There was no sign of the pain I feel when I try to look him in the eyes most of the time. I’d like to ask him, but I don’t dare. He is trying to obviously to hide from me how badly he feels, and I don’t want to pressure him; that would go wrong quickly. I want to make him shine, see his amber eyes light up, hear his deep laughter that vibrates in my stomach.
“That was fun.” I smile at him cautiously, not too exuberantly, not wanting to overwhelm him. “I’ve never been almost caught by the police before.”
“Really? Apparently your life was terribly boring before you met me.” The challenging grin freezes the second he realizes what he’s just said, but I pretend not to notice.
“Seems so. Have you done this before?” He nods thoughtfully and my chest tightens. “With Luca, my brother, a few times, and with...” He flinches and presses his lips together. “With someone else, but only once.”
As if someone had flipped a switch, Jannis’s voice breaks and I put two and two together. There is another person in his life. Or there was.
Chapter 7
Jannis
“See you later?” The message from Dayyan pops up on my display, and I manage to dismiss it just in time before Luca snatches the phone from my hand. Privacy is a foreign concept to my brother, always has been. Maybe because he never had any privacy himself in the countless group homes he lived in until he was twelve. There were just as many foster families, but he only stayed with them for very short periods of time.
“Who’s texting you?”
“None of your business.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
My look is enough to dispel the suspicion, because he immediately backtracks. “Okay, I get it. Wait! Are you still seeing that guy from the schoolyard? I saw you guys at the dogs place on the dragon meadow the other day.”
That’s exactly the information Luca needs. Anyone else could’ve seen me and not cared, but no, it had to be him. I’ll never live this down, not for the next few weeks.
“It’s still none of your business.” I plan to stay strong, but I can see from the tip of Luca’s nose that he’ll pull out hiskiller move if I don’t spill on my own. The first tear is already glistening in the corner of his eye.
Another one of his perfected skills, crying on cue. I know it’s fake, Luca knows I know. Why he gets me every time, I have no idea. Not today though. “Stop it.”
“You don’t trust me.” I knew it. Bored, I cross my arms in front of my chest. “You’re my brother. What did I do that was so wrong you’re not talking to me?”
“Are you serious?” I act dismissive, but he knows I’m hanging on by a thread.
“You know how much that hurts me.”
Okay, I have to go. I really don’t want to tell him I’m seeing Dayyan. Why not? I don’t know. Probably because Luca has a thousand questions and I don’t want to answer any of them.
Luca always has questions. Direct and relentless, and I actually love him for it. When I’m out with him, he speaks what I’m thinking. But getting caught in the crossfire of his interrogation? Yeah, I don’t need that today. Because I can’t lie, and I don’t know the truth myself. There’s too much going on in my head and in my gut and in my... just my head and my gut. Nowhere else. Nowhere. Damn it.
Without another word, I push past my brother and walk to my room a little faster than needed.
“Should I pick you up? I can be there in five.”
